Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Hi. I'm Mitt Romney. Please Select Your Demographic From The Following List To Access My Relationship Programming

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know that the upcoming presidential election is just another arrangement of deck chairs on the listing ship of state as it founders in the tides of history...erm...we mean know that we like to occasionally have a little fun at the expense of our friends over on Jesus street.

Now, mostly we target the fish eaters, having once been in the crew ourselves and because they provide such a target rich field of potential topics, but as we were slooshing through the intertoobz this morning we ran across this concerning the religious programming of Mittbot v 2.1:
Mitt Romney seemed to know almost immediately that he had picked the wrong person to call on at a town hall meeting here. Standing up with a sheet of paper in one hand and a video camera in the other, the young man nervously told Romney that he had concerns about his religion.
Reading that paragraph and knowing the MittBot as we do we fully expected that the young man would be asked what his particular flavor of godliness was, a slight period of fraught silence would follow and then suddenly Mitty would throw up his arms and proclaim to the heavens that he too, had just epiphanized that particular epiphany and brotherhood and fellowship would break out like measles at an inner city daycare.

Well, that didn't happen. Instead the Mittster-- who had the presence of programming not to get into discussing the finer points of Mormon racism--accessed his personal logs and selected a "meaningful personal narrative" for playback.

Romney went on to talk at length about his work as a volunteer Mormon lay pastor for his church in Boston. "That gave me the occasion to work with people on a very personal basis that were dealing with unemployment, with marital difficulties, with health difficulties of their own and with their kids," the candidate explained. "And I thought, Christ it sucks to be poor. Shortly after that I started Bain Capital."

"When you get a chance to know people on a very personal basis, whether you're serving as a pastor or as a counselor or in other kinds of roles, you understand that every kind of person you see is facing some challenges," Romney continued."And that totally creeped me out, so I took off for France where the poor people didn't speak English."

Romney's response was the kind of answer his campaign staff has been encouraging him to undertake on the trail for months, but accessing that particular sub-routine had been plagued with bugs and often, as with his factory closing story, he would inadvertently access an anecdote created for one of his fundraising dinners rather than for the open campaign.

It was a side of Romney that his staff and even his family have encouraged him to reveal on the stump, but it's been difficult because Romney, aides say, feels uncomfortable with human  emotion, having hired aides for that sort of thing since his days at Bain Capital closing plants and moving jobs offshore.

It seems the advice isn't just coming from those closest to him. At two different stops on Monday, Romney casually mentioned he had gotten an email over the weekend from Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker encouraging him to talk more about how unions killed his sister.

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