OK Class, Open Your Books To Page 49 Or The Nice Policeman Will Shoot You

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will remember the bright and joyous melodies of their youth have turned dirge-like and melancholy with the passage of years...erm...we mean will remember that on several occasions we have written about our less than stellar record as inmates of our local educorporate training facility. Now, we would have been the first to admit to you that we weren't what anyone this side of a fifth of Jack Daniels and water, hold the water would have called a model student, but at least no once called us felons.

The charge on the police docket was "disrupting class". But that's not how 12-year-old Sarah Bustamantes saw her arrest for spraying two bursts of perfume on her neck in class because other children were bullying her with taunts of "you smell".

OK, now before you go getting all up on your high horse because the police arrested a 12 year old girl who was being bullied instead of the bullies, remember, this is an improvement over their former policy which is simply to shoot the kid.  Plus we also don't know if the bullies were acting on their religious principles when they bullied her either.

"I'm weird. Other kids don't like me," said Sarah, who has been diagnosed with attention-deficit and bipolar disorders and who is conscious of being overweight. "They were saying a lot of rude things to me. Just picking on me. So I sprayed myself with perfume. Then they said: 'Put that away, that's the most terrible smell I've ever smelled.' Then the teacher called the police."

If you're like us, right about now you're wondering what are the odds that an overweight misfit young women would be mistreated in a middle school setting. Well, we can tell you it might happen more than you think, which is why teachers receive specific and intensive training in dealing with these behavioral anomalies. We mean come on people. Teachers are college educated professionals, licensed by the state, well versed in the ins and outs of child development and maturation, classroom disciplinary techniques and proactive listening skills. Of course, the police have guns so why bother with all that touchy feely stuff? There's tests to prep for!

Sarah was taken from class, charged with a criminal misdemeanor and ordered to appear in court. Each day, hundreds of schoolchildren appear before courts in Texas charged with offenses such as swearing, misbehaving on the school bus or getting in to a punch-up in the playground. Children have been arrested for possessing cigarettes, wearing "inappropriate" clothes and being late for school.

 This may seem harsh to you, but in Texas they know that these students must be prepared for the job market. A job market where, if you aren't a guard, you must be a prisoner.

"We've taken childhood behavior and made it criminal," said Kady Simpkins, a lawyer who represented Sarah Bustamantes.

Well, sure it sounds bad when you say it like that, but look here's the deal. Kids are a net drain on the economy. They have to be fed, clothed, housed, they get sick and need to go to the doctor, and on and on and on. They're the classic welfare kings and queens, man. Take, take, take, and what to they give back? Bupkus. But try and ask them to do just a little for their own upkeep and it's like you spit on the flag or something. Well, the free ride's over in Texas, right boys?

The Texas state legislature last year changed the law to stop the issuing of tickets to 10- and 11-year-olds over classroom behavior. (In the state, the age of criminal responsibility is 10.)

Oh crap. You bunch of bleeding hearts. What's next, infant  nutrition assistance?