So here we are, having just witnessed the natural birth of a new annum and now legislatures around the country once again draw plucky citizen lawmakers back to state capitols to UNLEASH THE CRAZY!!! Or participate in that time honored tradition of government of the people, by the people and for the people. Whichever.
First out of the gate, Indiana.
An state senator in Indiana has proposed a new law punishing anybody who changes the lyrics to The Star-Spangled Banner. Vaneta Becker wants to impose a fine of $25 on singers who dare to improvise, extemporize or undermine the national anthem.Ha! It's about time somebody criminalized Mariah Carey. She should have been locked up years ago. Look, the Constitution gives you freedom of speech, it don' say nothing 'bout no singing.
"I don't think the national anthem is something we ought to be joking around with," she said. "Singing our national anthem is a sign of gratitude to those who have served our country."You tell 'em Vaneta. Look, we're not going to help those who served our country get jobs, or treat their PTSD, or help them transition back to civilian life in a way that preserves their family and relationships, and lord knows we're not going to stop having stupid, meaningless wars, so the least we can do is make sure some screecher doesn't get a hold of the anthem before a baseball game.
Now that's some pretty forward looking legislation right there. We have to hand it to old Vaneta. We mean, she looks over the situation in Indiana, the poverty, the joblessness, the infrastructure and what does she see? The state cries out for harmony, man, harmony. Where is the Kingston Trio when you need them?