Next Up: If Only They Hadn't Started Putting Floride In Water

We're coming to you today from the Inevitability Is Inevitable Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. I³ is a division of It's Not Passing The Buck If God Tells You To Do It, Inc. A Respect Ma Moral Authorataa Company.

Slooshing through the inter toobz this morning looking for Stoli specials when what to our wandering eyes should appear but: Bishop of Tenerife blames child abuse on the children.

Well, of course you do. So far you've blamed everything except frogs and the New England Patriots, so why not? In the interests of fair and balanced though, we're willing to watch as you make a logic pretzel in support of this rather pungent bit of rhetorical effluvia. Please. Do go on:

His comments were that there are youngsters who want to be abused, and he compared that abuse to homosexuality, describing them both as prejudicial to society. He said that on occasions the abuse happened because the there are children who consent to it.
‘There are 13 year old adolescents who are under age and who are perfectly in agreement with, and what’s more wanting it, and if you are careless they will even provoke you’, he said.

OK first, all 13 year old adolescents are under age, maybe that's where you got confused, but this whole "provoke" thing? Aren't you guys always telling us we need to resist our baser urges? Aren't we supposed to fight provocation towards immoral acts? And isn't that why we need people like you, because we are weak and you guys have had training in this area? Come on man, you're supposed to be the SEAL Team Six of resisting temptation. You're the professionals of  temptation resistance, the people we're supposed to aspire to be. And now you're telling us you got tripped up by a 12 year old who forgot to button his shirt all the way up? Dude, this is like the New York Yankees getting beat 10 zip by the north Little Rock Bayview Rest Home Seniors Coed softball team. Twice. You sure that's the argument you want to go with?

A later statement from the Bishop's residence on Tenerife explained that the Bishop did not intend to imply that ‘an event as condemnable as the abuse of youngsters’ could be justified.

 Oh. Well that clears it up.

One thing though padre. If kids are a source of temptation even highly trained professionals such as yourself can't resist, why are you always telling us to have more of them? Just asking.