Monday, January 23, 2012

Newt! Motto: For Those Who Think Loud Is Better Than Smart

We can't tell you the effort we go to around here to avoid knowing anything about the republican primary contests, or as we like to call it, the Unmedicated and Proud of it Tour. We're not sure what scares us more, the fact that these guys are out there without professional supervision, or the fact that people show up at their rallies and actually think they make sense.

Well, try as we might we couldn't seem to avoid learning that Newt won the South Carolina primary based on the fact that he yelled at John King, and Mitt lost it because of a glitch in his software. They think it had something to do with an apparent internal runtime conflict because the "Average Guy" sub routine interfered with the "I Flush My Toilet With Champagne" source code when he was asked about his taxes.

Anyway, it seems Newt became the voice of all those who think the comics have gotten too small and the Sudoku puzzles should be easier. Or something like that, we may not have the full nuance of their grievances quite in our grasp.

Now, we're not professional journalistic reporters or anything, but it would seem Mr. King was a little less that effective in his defense of his opening question, and by extension, his profession, so as a public service we are going to share a response that can be used by any reporter or news person who may have the temerity to ask Mr. Gingrich an unpleasant or uncomfortable question in the future. To wit:

Mr. Gingrich, please don't shoot the messenger. I'm not the serial adulterer here, you are, and my question goes to the point of would someone who has admitted to such a laundry list of character flaws and ethical shortcomings up to and including serial adultery as you have, have the requisite character that makes him the type of person we want to elect for our president. Please answer the question sir.

Oh, and Mr. King? Might want to see a doctor and get checked out for Low T or something. just a thought.

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