Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Think How Much This Guy Could Have Made Off The Sinking Of The Lusitania

OK we got this guy here in Michigan name of Pete Hoekstra. Right now he's a congressman but he wants to be governor. We're not sure why. Being governor of Michigan now is sort of like being head architect at the Lego Corporation.

Hey. Our blog, our similes. Just go with it.

Anyway, after the underwear bomber tried to blow up flight 253 Petey highed himself out to every mass media outlet with the lights on to opine on the subject of terrorism, black presidents and how one inexorably leads to the other.

Of course the fact that he voted against giving the TSA a little over a billion to use for explosives detection technology wasn't brought up. We're sure it was just an oversight on Petey's part. Hard to keep track of all those votes when you're busy Tweeting your whereabouts to Al Qeada. Either that or he was Tweeting his solidarity with the Iranian dissidents dying in the streets of Tehran while he sat comfortably at his desk making faces at Nancy Pelosi.

How do you say Wolverines! in Persian?

So right now you're thinking "Whoa. What is this guy, from South Carolina or something? Man, we bet Ironicus is about to pile on this Bozo."

Nope. We here in the marbled halls of IM Central hereby endorse the candidacy of Peter Hoekstra for governor of Michigan.

See, right now Michigan needs money like Rove needs a new reason to defend the sanctity of marriage and Petey's just the guy to get it for us because he sees opportunity where others see terror and he's not afraid to take advantage of the suffering of others.

The way we see it, if he gets elected governor, the longer the war on terror lasts, the better off the state will be. Forget that automotive industry stuff, we got people like Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab out there fund raising. Casino taxes? Kid's stuff once Petey gets a hold of another embassy bombing. Graduated income tax? Won't be an income tax at all if they don't catch Osama.

This is the Can Do American attitude in action, right Hoekstra’s spokesman Truscott?
This is hottest issue going right now. Everybody’s talking about it’s the lead story in the news all across the country,” Truscott said. “As a leading national expert on this issue, it’s certainly appropriate to raise this issue as he talks about the leadership he could bring to Michigan.
Darn straight. Raise the issue, raise the cash. Vote against the issue, keep the cash. Has this guy got it going on or what? Hey, we've got a campaign slogan for you Mr. Hoekstra:

Peter Hoekstra for Governor: When two faces just aren't enough

3 comments:

scripto said...

I don't get it. Where's the smileys?

Anonymous said...

It's endless with the constant Republicans going on and on about their high and moral standings, particularly about the "reasoning" for torture.
Torture, such as "Courage and Consequence" written by Rove...or how about "the system worked" by the Bush administration!
Pete is going to make sure everyone has to listen, yet again, on how to destroy America along with the rest of the World.
It's done quite simply, by going backwards.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

OUCH!