Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Maybe We Should Just Pray For God To Sit This One Out

OK, now you may laugh at the poor guy who called in to a radio show concerned that in answering his prayers to turn the democrats into dung beetles so they couldn't vote on health care reform God may have missed and taken out senator Inhofe, but this is serious stuff because, well, let's be honest here, god in not known for his aim.

We mean, just look at the facts. Right out of the gate god wipes out the whole planet except for Noah and a bunch of strays because he was mad at a few people in the middle east. Come on, big guy. People in Asia hadn't even heard of you yet and they get flushed too? What's that all about? And then after the deluge you leave the kangaroos to find their own way to Australia? Create the universe in six days and you can't even spend five minutes to give the poor Joeys a miracle or something?

Modern technology doesn't seem to have helped either. In order to get a few homos in New Orleans, god wiped out all of Louisiana and most of Mississippi. Oh, sure you had your mouthpiece give you credit for 9/11 and all, but we're not buying it because the guys who drove those planes into the buildings were muslim fanatics and they didn't believe in you anyway. Besides, everyone knows allah is so good if you ask him he can guide arrows and stuff.

So while allah is out helping folks to eat, what are you doing? Giving us the swine flu, except instead of just giving it to America because we're all sinners and sodomites and commies and whatnot, you give it to the whole world.

You can see why the caller was concerned. One thing christians learn early on is that when god gets his wrath on, no one is safe, but we think this fellow can relax. God has about as much chance of hitting one guy as the Cubs do of winning the pennant.

No there's a miracle we'd like to see.

Update: There is some thought that this may have been an attempt to punk senator Barrasso, but even if that's true, we stand by our analysis because a ruse wouldn't have had a chance of working if there weren't a kernel of truth in it, like the time god almost wiped out Egypt because the Pharaoh wouldn't let the Israelites join a union or something. Hey, Mr. Ruler of the Universe Guy, that was the Pharaoh's doing. It wasn't like Egypt was a democracy and the common folks got to vote on keeping the Jew as slaves. But Nooooo, you have to kill everybody's first born. Heck of a job Yahweh.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

People like Falwell and Robertson and half the extreme right inbreds have a real knack for spreading vindictiveness.
Imagine.
Vindictive because people don't want to believe their hate messages anymore.
People don't want to believe that HIV is sent from God to get rid of all homosexuals and those that fornicate before marriage. (although it's quite alright after)
And people don't want to believe that women should "burn in Hell" for having opinions about their own bodies and using their own brains to say so.
And, alas. people don't want to believe that Wars and Terrorism and Starvation are all caused by the very people that deserve it.
And the lovely thing is , is that all their vindictiveness is only proving how evil and vile they all are.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Falwell and Robertson were well beyond inbreds. They are full fledged fuctards.

And yes they spread vindictiveness like herpes. That annoying rash can suddenly morph into life threatening mobs with torches if not treated with the proper anti-virals and critical thinking, soon enough.

As for keeping women down. Man I haven't found a society yet, that hasn't tried. The bible is just an excuse to do what seems to come naturally--even to some women. Case in point, Sarah Palin and Phyllis Schafely. The both got vaginas--and still they insist on using that as a pre-existing condition for disenfranchisement.

If they weren't using the Bible, these selfish fucks would be using some other document or philosophy. That is the most disheartening fact of all. The Curse of Grey face is truly upon us.

Anonymous said...

Wishing people dead?
Like wishing upon a star?
Like wishing a voodoo doll to do its voodoo hex?
Ever think that is precisely what many religions adhere to?
Black Magic?
Or Witchcraft?
Or just plain , good old fashioned, False Idols?
The next time you hear hysterics or gibberish or those wild , spitting, false tongues, don't just do a Perry Como.
"Go all the way."
Vote Republican.

Anonymous said...

You talk about political party screaming "Pro-Life"?
What is "Pro-Life" when you want to obliterate Nations for oil and power?
What is "Pro-Life" when you want to obliterate your neighbor because they do not have a piece of paper and want to and indeed, have been begging for it so they can help feed and house our Nation, with their taxes?(unlike all the billionaires' loopholing with all their off-shore accounts and accountants and all the Republicans who are rich in income and rage because they do not want to share?
And what is "Pro-Life" when Republicans, and everywhere, despise a Health Plan to insure all these "Pro-Life" rantings regarding the very children needing nurturing and medical care not to mention the women that were forced to have these same children, and some, so poor, cannot pay for a wheel chair, help with cerebral palsey, cancer, whatever.
"Pro-Life"?
Don't think so.
More like "Pro-Me".
Proof?
Sarah Palin.

Anonymous said...

Please. "Pro-Life" is not condemning all the lesbians and homosexuals because they are often the ones adopting the very children that "straights" don't want, or can't afford or just got plain "knocked up" and had nothing but religion to say "No!" to.
(no condoms, apparently are not only "pro-life" but also help to spread STD and that way girls and women can become infertile...so that makes sense to Republicans, right George?)
So, we can say quite simply that when GAY people get killed or beaten or commit suicide because all the Republican extreme right hate GAYS, this is certainly not "Pro- Life".
And by the way, just for"fun" there is now a top-notch lesbian lawyer in Manhattan suing her firm for 50 million because she, herself, as a lawyer, was
"moral" and blew the whistle on her own firm, and of course, they abused her by verbal humiliations in order to try and hush her up.
However, this lady is taking them all to the cleaners
, and hopefully, literally, which just might show them all that, as usual, for Republicans, it's money that talks.

Anonymous said...

Jesus.
Can you imagine a VICE PRESIDENT of the USA, RICH, with not only BOOK DEALS, and OIL DEALS and CORRUPTION charges but a "CHRISTIAN FATHER" who blatantly disowns anybody GAY?
Well, that not only shows he never had balls to begin with, he has absolutely no moral standing as a human being because what he was really saying was that he'd prefer she did not exist....and certainly, if she HAD to exist, she had better CHANGE!
Well, BRAVO SUPREME DICK. GAYS do NOT change....just like CROOKS!

Anonymous said...

GOD! ENOUGH!
Wars are still being fought and have escalated primarily due to the fact that the BUSH administration not only pushed for more weapons and corrupt companies benefitted from that as well....but the BUSH government falsely and purposely lied to the American people, the CHRISTIANS they pretend to be and commune with, and as a result, KILLED thousands of these same AMERICANS because of the MONEY factor and like the SPARK PLUGS for the GREYHOUNDS, GOD MAKES YOU MONEY and GOD KEEPS YOU IN POWER!
But guess what happened? The WAR was not "won" as George and Cheney always stated. They got richer but the Nation got poorer and became more of a target despite more paraplegics and gravesites and AMERICANS wanting to believe they were doing the right thing. They truly DID believe they were going to help OTHER Nations.(Because that is what BUSH nd CHENEY said.)
These CHRISTIAN FATHERS have made how many children all orphans, and we are just speaking AMERICA, not even going to the other NATIONS they deliberately ATTACKED!
And for what?
Once again.... NOT to make AMERICA safe. To make their bank accounts overflow and it did not concern them that half of it was bloodied, and packed with corpses.
THESE CHRISTIAN FATHERS apparently are not the parents they pretend to be, or the government they say they uphold or do they ever follow the rules.
This was not about "Democracy". This was not about "Freedom". Once again, this was about GREED.

Anonymous said...

Well, the denial of the BUSH Government , always saying that they had the RIGHT to TORTURE people whether they were innocent or not and KEEP them captive, is something the entire World got a look at and this alone, with all the BUSH unlawfulness, makes for a pretty wretched image for all Americans, even when we gave our own lives and continue to do so, to try and reverse the horrific consequences of this past warring administration.
We can only hope and truly pray that with Obama, not only because he is black and white, but because he has the knowledge and the wisdom and the heart, of which there was none in the other, will mend fences internationally, and show our beautiful assets, in mind and soul.
We were there, once.
Let's hope we can go there again and with Peace.

Anonymous said...

Is Cheney going to jail?
What is up with that? I always thought there were going to be International Reviews and Courts to try Cheney as a WAR CRIMINAL?
Has Obama let him go?
We all sure hope not.
This, in itself, will mend a hell of a lot of fences, and maybe even reduce nuclear arms.
Jail him.
That's the cheapest and smartest way to go.
(and the Terrorists will get this message and have a reason to disperse)