Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Hound Blogging

Hey, no more tracks closed this week. How about that overlords? Got to take your victories where you find them, no? So, since you don't need to convince people that what's left of western civilization will collapse if you lose your minimum wage no benefit job this week, what to do? What to do?

Oh, we know, fleece the rubes.

Welcome to the most accurate and profitable greyhound profit center on the internet.

Hmm...being the most accurate and profitable greyhound profit center on the web is sort of like being the tallest ballerina in Wabash Indiana.

Due to overwhelming demand our pick sheets are now free.

OK, we're not economists or anything, but doesn't increasing demand cause the value of something to go up?

Honestly, these picks are not the exact picks I play and my players play. We reserve the best of the best for ourselves. However these picks are most likely the best you will find anywhere. what you're telling us is if we're stupid enough to listen to you we deserve what we get?

Charging money for pick sheets is more of a hassle than anything else. We could never charge what they are really worth .

Right, because who wants to make money anyway? Cheapens the challenge and all that. Besides, since our picks are the ones you don't bet, we're sorting of getting what we paid for.

Our picks are made using a method I developed over 10 years ago and have been using ever since.

Yeah. Uh, would that be the method we get, or the one you "reserve" for yourself and your players?

I also train a limited number of players to play on the pro level each year.

The pro level? There's a pro level of rubes? Is that like the people who can actually tie their own shoes level?

We no longer teach the pencil / program method of handicapping.

Got it. Need people who can read and write for that.

I have been training players since 2005 and have many satisfied students, including some who play to earn income.

Some who play to earn income? What do you think the rest play for Madison? Shiny trinkets?

Madison is very affectionate. She will approach people as soon as they come into the house. She likes to lean against you, will nuzzle her head against you, and gives kisses. She likes hugs and nose rubs. She is hilarious to watch. She is like Bambi on ice with the wood floors. She is playful in the morning and likes to play with her family and other dogs, although she is an early to bed girl. She is a quick learner. She is very animated – She will look you right in the eyes like she is communicating with you. Madison would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 7 and up. She is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. She would do well in an active family that would include her and she would make a great meet and greet girl. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.


Anonymous said...

What can one say? Except, maybe, here we go again.
"QuickDog"...I assume that is "us".
You know, a call from anywhere to anyone kind of like a pimp but not even.
You don't even have the gold chains to prove who you are.
You don't even give your name as "Johnny Up".
All you "do" is throw out, like a rotten bone, some "email" with "puppy chow" for all the naive assholes out there.
Got news for you.
We have your tail.

Anonymous said...

"Pick Sheet"?
Sounds kind of gross to me.
But what do I know?
First thing comes to mind are "boogers".
Somebody more refined might say "lemons".
Others might even go "hardware".
Now that is probably the most interesting.
"Pick Sheet".
What else you selling?

Anonymous said...

Oh please.
I hear they do that in Pre-K...and now, you are telling us they actually have "progressed"?
Good for them.
I guess that's like "tying your shoes" with velcro.
Maybe it's like eating with a "spork.
In any case, Pencil/Program doesn't even sound nice.
There is no "draw" with that.
Better pick your words carefully.
We are watching you.

Anonymous said...

Tools of the Trade is what I like.
There's so much to be "had".
There are grinders, and saws, and drillings, and nailings and oh my GOD! The list goes on and on.
What are all these items made of?
What makes them all "tick"?
What can you do when you break them down and "reverse" them?
Anybody besides them, know?
I bet it can be lucrative.
I bet it can be concealed.
I bet a million things and most are criminal.
I bet they all know because they are all doing it.
And they are all rich due to these black market deals.

Anonymous said...

"Some who play to earn an income?"
Can you believe this?
People are losing their homes; being tossed by the banks; can't afford universities and all the colleges are shutting down for lack of funds. However, here comes "the Saviour" in the form of "Greyhound Racing".
Yes, we know according to Martin Roper, it is "in the Bible, you Moron", however , "pick sheets"?
Is that like, "pick your whore of the week" sheet?
How about, "pick your poison" like steroid, or coke or hey...don't stop there! You know, all SORTS of drugs to "pick" and inject female Greyhounds "to win" a penis and "to lose " her "identity".
Oh yeah, these guys are SO good, they revolve around your door. And they go "in and out" non-stop, without any conscience or any guilt.
"Some who play to earn an income"?
Are those the same kind who play "to kill"?

Anonymous said...

Long ago there was a guy called Chris Carpenter. (maybe North Carolina, maybe not)
"CC" had the audacity to justify executing Greyhounds because they were no longer "winners".
So, now that Greyhound Racing is no longer a "winner", let' execute" all the followers who adhered to this "logic".
Many of us recall how people like "CC" (if that indeed was his real name) found it difficult to piece together certain word associations.(they could only get a sentence, and barely that) So, since it's Saturday, a few of us have gotten together and decided to play "fun word associations", because we don't "do" Greyhounds. We "do" language.
Here we go! Let's see if all you "CC"'s out there can get "this picture".






Anonymous said...

Somebody mentions copper?
We know what you can do with that but who thought of using Greyhounds to get away with it?
That "person" or that "organization" should literally be locked up for a lifetime.
It is the classic example of "no conscience".
And we all know with that kind of mentality, the sky is the limit.

Anonymous said...

You know what's nice? The Kennedy "kid", Robert, I think , he talks about how harnessing wind and sun to make the EARTH GREEN again (and perhaps to even give back all the "dead zones" humans have created) is the new kind of "power" humans should be in a "race" for. The faster the technology can ease and perhaps erase, all the damage people have caused for at least a hundred years, might get mankind in synch with one another. To know we all depend on each other to make it "right". Countries, Worldwide, must join hands and bow like Obama. It's our only true and crystal clear answer. "International Respect". And everyone must immediately practice the lowest bow possible, because we are all in "catastrophic mode". And Obama knows it.

Anonymous said...

Have you seen how wonderful Michelle Weaver's adoption agency is getting the word out?
She and Jerry are doing a tremendous job as ten Greyhounds have just been adopted by Tennessee! This is the only agency I really keep an eye on, but look how hard all these volunteers and adopters work? They are constantly "mopping up" after these West Virginia Tomblin crowds. I, for one, do hope this movie will be made. It will be World Wide, and the very tops in actors. This is seriously going to put all these bastards behind bars. And Internationally.

scripto said...

Sorry I haven't been able to comment sooner but I was watching a Big Ten football game. On TV in Central PA. I think the game was in East Lansing. 3:30 Eastern Time. Thith ith Thparta!

Ironicus Maximus said...

Thith ith Thparta!

OK pal. If we're ever sober enough to figure out how to ban people, you're history!