Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Fox News! Motto: At Least We're Not As Dumb As Our Audience

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the sweet release that comes with the complete abandonment of ambition...er...we mean have come to rely on us for their daily dose of cutting edge satire and pithy political commentary.

If by "come to rely on" you mean, Hey, now that we've read what the adults are saying, let's go see what Ironicus has written. But first let's have a drink. Ironicus always makes more sense after a drink.

Tru dat. The point is, in our ongoing efforts to add to the number of minutes in your life you wish you had back, we occasionally have to make certain...umm...adjustments to the quality of our output. Or, as Blogmistress Jenna puts it: a "blog that contains a mix of successful, moderately successful, and far less successful posts."

Hahahahaha! Students. Aren't they cute? Always so...focused.

But we digress. The reason we tell you this is to establish our credentials in the area of phoning it in and, having established said credentials would like to offer the following advice to our friends at Fox: Dudes. Take a day off.

President Obama's deep bow to Japanese Emperor Akihito on Saturday may not have violated any official protocol, but critics of the presidential act of deference nevertheless say he's guilty of bad form.

Guys. Come on. When the best you've got is our president bowing to the leader of a country where bowing is as much a part of the culture as shaking hands over here, you really got nothing.

Seriously. You. Got. Nothing.

Believe us. We know about having nothing.

Look, we all know it's easier to make fun of the fact that Obama is polite and knows that there are different customs in different cultures than to actually study his polices and develop a cogent argument against them. Not to mention that you'd lose two thirds of your audience fifteen seconds into a show like that. Well, maybe if you called it Helth Kare Debait. That might hold them for a little longer.

But never mind. Forget that. We know it's not your mission anyway. Your mission is to convince people with...um...limited talents to vote against their own best interests. By scaring them. But think about it. What kind of return are you going to get for this? Do you really expect tea baggers will be out running around the country shouting "Obama treats people with respect and dignity! Omygod!! Omygod!! Omyfreakingod!!"

Well, OK, that could happen, but if you want to reach out to people with IQ's above that of fingernail clippings you've got to come up with something that has a little more sizzle, a little more oomph. Day after day telling us that Obama has manners, Obama is educated, Obama can walk an chew gum at the same time just gets old.

Trust us. We know about stuff getting old. Just ask Jenna.


WMDKitty said...

Bush KISSED the Saudi King! On the LIPS!

...and they're upset at Obama bowing to the Emperor?

What the hell?

Anonymous said...

All I recall is Bush, in Africa, I think, doing the Shimmy or Monkey or Worse.
There will never ever be an embarassment like that Ingnoramus, especially with his humiliated wife, sucking it in, on the side.
Obama is and always will be "Class".
You can never, ever learn this.
You either have it or you don't.

scripto said...

"Bush KISSED the Saudi King! On the LIPS!"

Yeah, but he held hands with him first. So that's all right. And if a little tongue gets us $10 off a barrel, then that's OK, too.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

I have to second, WMDKitty's point. And Uh, OHMYFUCKING GAWD THAT IS DISGUSTING!

If it were two gay guys in love, or in lust behind some bar somewhere, it wouldnt bother me so much, but it was Our Lord and Savior Jesus Bush, kissing that heathen on the lips!

Damnit! Petting Does not Make you Popular, Even in Saudi Arabia!

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