Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Somebody Needs A Nap

You know, we have to admit to an occasional attack of the grumps from time to time here in the marbled halls of IM Central. Hard to get through this life with nothing but a smile. Like most sentient beings, we find that there are numerous things on god's green earth that cause us to become disharmonious with our surroundings.

Take people who drive too slowly in front of us for example, or people who drive too fast behind. OK, just about anybody else on the road we're on. And then there are traffic lights: Red for five minutes, green for five seconds. Know what we're saying? Plus there's always some AARP reject in front of us at the light who seems to be color blind, or maybe just plain blind because when the light changes it doesn't seem to have any effect. Push DOWN on the skinny pedal grandpa. There you go, don't worry. You can do it. Come on, we can get more than three cars through the intersection before the light OH CRAP. Thanks a lot you walking flatulence factory. Hope you can't get your Aricept prescription filled.

Where were we? Oh, yeah, getting our mellow harshed. But just as there are situations and events afoot that, shall we say were not designed with our enjoyment in mind, so there are things that make the travail of this life a little less...uh...travailing. Properly chilled Stoli for example, which we often find ourselves turning to after a stint on the highways and byways around Ironicus Maximus World Headquarters.

We tell you all this by way of introducing our concerns for our republican friends who have, we fear lost the ability to find any joy at all in their existence. Or the existence of others for that matter. Particularly the existence of others.

Take for example, former President Bill Clinton's trip to North Korea that secured the release of the two young women imprisoned there. Hardly a nit to be picked that could characterize this outcome as anything other than joyous. International incident avoided, families reunited. Finally an opportunity for republicans and Democrats to put aside their differences and agree that an outcome has been positive.

Nope.

OK, how about cash for clunkers, the wildly successful government program that got older inefficient cars off the road, created demand in the comatose auto market which while not ending the recession, at least provided a jolt towards recovery in an economy that relies on people buying things for 72% of its juice. Win win, right?

Nuh uh.

All righty then. How about finding some way to lower health care costs while covering the 47 million people who are unprotected right now? A complicated issue to be sure, and a vigorous debate on the how is to be expected, but at least we can all agree on the why part, yes?

What do you think?

Jeez guys, is there anything that makes you happy? Anything you can back?

Oh.

Yeah. Well...ah...don't quite know what to say...um...be sure to use protection. That's a good thing, right?

Not.

Ah, forget it. We're going out and find an old man to drive behind.

2 comments:

Seeing Eye Chick said...

They are a bunch of ass sucking hypocrits who hide behind the bible while emotionally manipulating the poor and the ignorant using scripture and false piety.

They dont like the cash for clunkers program because of the following reasons:

The money wasn't dumped directly into the Big Three months ago.

It is an attempt to reduce oil dependence. This last being in direct opposition to their apocalyptic mindset. Lets all kill ourselves and the planet so Jesus will come back---And BTW being environmentally conscious at all is the work of Satan and Democrats--er I mean Demoncrats.

That Bill Clinton got in and out of N Korea only proves to them that he is indeed, high in the citadels of evil himself. A man on the side of good would have had the decency to burst into flame the moment his plane touched down.

And If we make Health Care affordable for all, then how can the sinners understand how much God and the Republicans hate their sin?

Its a fair Question Ironicus. One I don't think you have addressed adequately.

;)

Anonymous said...

Cash for clunkers is indeed needed for all these unemployed who are trying to find jobs once again. It ain't the thirties with farm trucks and thumbs!
As for Bolton, he never had a real date, obviously because he cannot go to any party or any country without being "penis whipped". The guy is an absolute loser and needs to have signs on his face saying: "I'm American and you have to pay!"
Finally, regarding all the extreme right asses who blew away everybody's health but most importantly, the health of teenagers, worldwide, let's hope "your God" takes vengeance....on you.