Monday, March 23, 2009

Pope Visits Africa; Surprised By The High Number Of Black People

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the cold grasp of despair...er...we mean know that we spent a good portion of our formative years being nurtured and guided by the church catholic. Yes it does explain a lot doesn't it?

Anyway, now that the night terrors have subsided we like to peek in on the old gang from time to time and see what sort of wacky situations they've gotten themselves into. Oh look, the pope's in Africa. This ought to be good. You can tell this kid's enjoying himself:

Pope Benedict urged catholics in Angola to shun witchcraft and woo back those who have left the Catholic church to join other religious groups, including some that believe in spirits and sorcerers. "If you must believe in spirits and sorcerers, at least believe in my spirits and sorcerers," the pope said.

"So many of them are living in fear of spirits, of malign and threatening powers when they should be living in fear of pedophile priests. In their bewilderment they even end up condemning street children and the elderly as alleged sorcerers. Well, I'm with you on the kids, but old people are no threat," the 81 year old pontiff told the crowd.

Flourishing of evangelical sects has been a big problem for the catholic church since lead levels in drinking water have been reduced and literacy levels have begun to rise.The number of sects in the former Portuguese colony has jumped to 900 from just 50 in 1992. Experts say the sects attract Angolans because their rituals are very intense and blend in traditional African beliefs, and some promise an immediate end to suffering in a country where the majority of the population is still very poor. "Hey, we promise that too," the pope said. "And you don't have to do any of that witchcraft mumbo jumbo rub yourself with eye of newt stuff either. Just show up on Sunday and watch us do things you don't understand while speaking Latin."

The pope presided at a rally for tens of thousands of young people at Luanda stadium and remarked that some in the crowd had been injured by landmines."But landmines are god's way of curing AIDS without increased condom use," he said.

2 comments:

tzvee said...

a worthy headline indeed (he said, still guffawing)...

Anonymous said...

Ah yes. The captains of commerce are at it again. When will people of the planet learn that "Church and State", together, are evil no matter if Jew, Muslim, Christian, etc.
Enough of religions' excuses , be they for drugs, diamonds or expanding country lines.
To have them for procreation is sickening. To have them to destroy innocent peoples' humble yet fervent beliefs, no matter how naive or "backwards", goes against the grain of a caring and civil heart.