Money? We Don't Need No Stinking Money

Say what you will about the republicans...go ahead...Oh, sorry. already used that joke. Anyway...umm...regardless of what your personal opinion might be of the party that had their heads so far up George Bush's keester every time he burped we heard John Boehner's voice, one thing we can all agree on is that they stick to their values.

When we say republican, you say Small government! Minimum regulation! Personal responsibility! Republican! Hey, no swearing.

The point is, a party that would rather lose elections than its values is none too happy with President Hopey's Very Evil, Socialistic, Communistic, Freeloader Government Handout, and several republican governors have stepped up to let him know that republicans can't be bought. Especially now that Abramoff is in jail.

One of those governors, Rick Perry of Texas even went so far as to write the President a letter (pdf) detailing his disgust with this wholesale abandonment of American Can do attitude for a teat at the Nanny State.

I'm writing you today in response to stipulations set forth in H.R. 1, the $787 billion stimulus package you signed into law yesterday. As you know, I have been vocal in my opposition to this legislation because I believe there are better ways to reinvigorate our economy and believe H.R. 1 will burden future generations with unprecedented levels of debt.

You. Ain't. A. Lie. Haven't the republicans spent the last eight years attempting to bankrupt the country? Haven't they run up a deficit of historical proportions that future generation will have to bear? What makes you think you can do any better, huh President Smarty S. Smart?

I continue to believe that the best way to stimulate the economy is the approach we are taking here in Texas. As a result of low taxes, controlled government spending and a predictable regulatory climate, nearly 80 percent of all jobs created last year in the United States were created in Texas; the vast majority of these were private sector jobs. Just last week, Texas was ranked the top exporting state in the nation for the seventh year in a row.

Boo Ya! Give it to him governor. Put that Muslim loving, radical feminist marrying, arugula eating elitist fancy boy in his place. OK, we didn't mean boy that way. We're 21st century sophisticates here in Texas. Just never mind that those jobs were created when gas was four dollars a gallon and now that the bottom has fallen out of the energy market all those people will be working at Starbucks and living in the back of their pickup trucks, the point is Texas Ain't Taking Your Commie Bribe. Texans don't need no government handout, no sirree. So thanks but no thanks President Radical Leftist, but governor Perry is about to get all John Galt on your scrawny multi-racial behind. Bring it home Gov, bring it home:

On behalf of the people of Texas, please allow this letter to certify that we will accept the funds.

Bam!(eleventy!!) How you like us now, huh President Moneybags? We hope you've learned your...wait. What'd he say?

I will use them to promote economic growth and create jobs in a fiscally responsible
manner that is in the best interest of Texas taxpayers.

Umm...yeah...ah...OK...Well, we're going to take your money and help the people of Texas, not spend it on booze and women like we know you want us to. We've got our...erm...standards you know. You, ah...you wouldn't happen to know when the check will get here would you? Not really interested, just thought we'd ask while we had your attention. Oh, and that commie socialist Muslim loving stuff? Just messing with you.