Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Bush. George Bush? That Guy's Still President?

We're coming to you today from the balcony overlooking the Pit of Rising Despair just off of the north portico here at the marbled halls of IM Central. Occasionally we like to wander out here in the evenings with our favorite not that greyhound, that greyhound, well, actually both greyhounds are our favorites, just in different ways, right Stoli? C'mere boy. Good dog. Now, go get daddy some more ice.

Where were we. Oh, yeah, the building chorus of teeth gnashing, hair pulling and chest beating rising up from the Pit as more and more republicans realize that when they go for a job interview after they aren't reelected and face that inevitable question: What did you do in your previous position? Their answer is going to have to be: Supported an idiot president who got the country into a needless war. And then lost it. The war we mean.

Senate Republicans are growing increasingly nervous defending the in Iraq. More than a year before the 2008 elections, it is a political role reversal that bodes ill for the few republicans who remain unindicted for money laundering activity, or criminal sexual conduct. "Those of us who aren't going to jail are beginning to get concerned about being reelected," said Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky who is not currently under investigation for anything.

Yet as the party leader, McConnell is more circumspect than many Republicans in his characterization of the administration's war strategy. Asked whether he agreed that the conflict had been badly mismanaged McConnell declined to respond verbally, but spelled out "The president's insane" using American sign language.

"The strategy we had before was not the right strategy,"Senator Christopher Bond, told reporters at midweek. When asked if he was competing with the president for the number of times he could state the completely obvious as if it were a new and startling revelation, Bond responded that he was "distanced" from the current administration. "I'm a straight talking Maverick," he said. "And I'll tell you exactly what I think. As soon as I get it from Cheney's office."

"Today's mission is focused on reelection," said senator Jon Kyl. " I mean al-Qaida," reflecting what other senators who must run in November say privately.

One Republican senator, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the shift in talk of a military objective was a prelude to a change to a strategy that would pull U.S. troops back from a civil war between Sunni and Shiites. When asked why he requested anonymity, senator Lieberman replied that he didn't want to give the impression that he was no longer supporting president Bush. "I have my own nickname," he added.

But focusing attention on al-Qaida raises familiar questions: Were terrorists present in Iraq before the 2003 invasion. "Well, of course not," said senator Kyl. "What are you? One of those people who only watches Fox News or something?"

According to several officials, senator George Voinovich, and McCain engaged in a brief, impromptu debate touching on that point recently at a private meeting of the rank and file."Well, it wasn't much of a debate really," said one observer who asked not to be identified. "Everybody pretty much shut up and went back to their seats when Cheney came in."

Only four of 49 Republican senators defected in last week's showdown on deadlines for troop withdrawal. The group did not include senators John Warner of Virginia, Richard Lugar of Indiana, Pete Domenici of New Mexico and other senior lawmakers who are seeking a change in course. "Oh, you mean we have to vote on this stuff too?" asked Domenici. "I'm going to have to get back to you on that part."

"In May, Republicans were dismissing even tough questions about the escalation. Now, they're falling all over themselves to distance themselves from the president," said senator John Kerry. "Well, that's not entirely true," responded senator Lugar. "We're republicans. We don't 'fall all over ourselves.' We have our staff do that while we are driven away in the limo."

1 comment:

Lucy Arin said...

Great post! Hilarious, and yet, sadly, so true.