Yeah, But Could Picasso Handle An M-16?

Now, we enjoy a good metaphor as much as the next person. Often we have retreated to the abstract to camouflage an inherent scarcity of fact our positions. We find obfuscation with a poetic twist often confuses people as to whether we are incredibly erudite, or full of what our sainted mother used to call "bull's nasty." In any event the ensuing hesitation by our interlocutor gives us time to effect a hasty withdrawal.

And speaking of withdrawal, we're pretty sure this attempt at metaphorical abstraction has more in common with the epithet coined by our mater familias than with an attempt to clothe the truth in a gown of art.

A senior U.S. general compared to a "work of art" in progress, saying it was too soon to judge the outcome and playing down violence and friction with Iraqi leaders as "speed bumps" on the road. "well, speed bumps, or roadside bombs, but that's tomato tomahto," said Major General William Caldwell, chief military spokesman. "We're thinking the whole thing is similar to, say Pollock or Munch.

"Every great work of art goes through messy phases while it is in transition," Caldwell said. "Of course artists don't usually get blown up while they're making a painting, the cities they work in don't become battlegrounds and refugees don't stream out of the artist's studio, buy hey, no metaphor is perfect."

Rising U.S. casualties and spiraling sectarian violence and insurgent attacks that kill hundreds of Iraqi civilians every week have sparked heated debate in the United States over whether Iraq is descending into civil war. "Look, every artist has to decide whether burnt umber or harvest sunset is the best representation of their idea. Conflict is a part of art, that's all I'm saying," Caldwell told reporters.

Last week Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki blamed the U.S.-led forces for poor security and aides said he was angered by perceived pressure from Washington to accept U.S. "time lines" for progress that would allow U.S. troops to leave.

"Well, artists have their critics," Caldwell said. "I mean, look what people say about that guy that does the paintings of Elvis on velvet. I really like that stuff, by the way. Of course I don't know much about art. But I know what I like."

Rising U.S. casualties and spiraling sectarian violence and insurgent attacks that kill hundreds of Iraqi civilians every week have sparked heated debate in the United States over whether Iraq is descending into civil war. "Well, sure," Caldwell explained. "Iraq is like when someone walks up to a Fielding and says 'What the heck is that?' Then someone else comes along and says, "Oh that's Broken Dreams.' Then it all makes sense."