Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Will Jenna And Barbara Join The National Guard Like Dad?

Hey, wait a minute. We thought electing the democrats would be a good thing. Now we read that they want to bring back the draft. Even the republicans were smart enough to know re-VietNaming the country would be...well...let's just say politically inexpedient.

Let's see: Two Four Six Eight, We Don't Want No Watergate.

No, that's not it. Um...One Three Five Seven, No...

One Two Three Four something something and the war.

OK, we'll work on that. After all, it's been forty years. Anyway in the mean time the incoming democratic chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee said that he will push to renew the military draft. "I will be introducing that bill as soon as we start the new session," Representative Charles Rangel (D-4F) said. "There's no question in my mind that this president and this administration would never have invaded Iraq, if we had a draft and members of Congress and the administration thought that their kids would be placed in harm's way."

Wait. You mean they're only going to draft politicians' kids? Now there's a draft we can get behind. Now, don't get us wrong. We're as patriotic as the next guy, if the next guy is an islamofascistcommie ninja warrior godless heathen, but the idea of letting the people that started the war furnish the targets...er...resources kind of appeals to us.

Gives a whole new meaning to pay as you go war.

Rangel has drawn modest support for his draft proposal in recent years and it has been unclear whether its prospects might improve in the 110th Congress. "We're trying to find out how many have military age kids right now," and aide to Rangel said.

Senator John McCain (R-Say Anything) said that it is immoral to keep troops fighting merely to "delay our defeat for a few months or a year. Let's send a whole bunch more over there and really delay our defeat."

Senator Harry Reid (D-Payback Time) who will be the Senate majority leader, agrees that the U.S. military is stretched too thin and that "the burden of meeting the nation's security has not been shared equally by all segments of our society," said Reid spokesman Jim Manley. But Reid "believes that these problems are best addressed by making needed adjustments in the all-volunteer force," Manley said.

Asked what 'adjustments' need to be made to increase volunteers, Manley said, "Simple. Everybody who turns 18 automatically volunteers."

Lawmakers are anxiously awaiting recommendations next month from the Iraq Study Group, co-chaired by former secretary of state James A. Baker III and former representative Lee H. Hamilton (D-Iizzy.). If the group does not advocate sending more troops to Iraq, McCain said, he would support a troop withdrawal. "I'll support anything that will get me elected president," he said. "After all, I'm the straight talker and I'm telling you straight up I want to be president so bad I'd French kiss Henry Kissinger if it got me his support."

Later an representative of Senator McCain's office said his remarks had been taken out of context. "Senator McCain was for the war, before he was against it," the representative told reporters.

Senator Carl Levin (D-Comb Over) said, "We must tell the Iraqis that we would begin, starting in four to six months, a phased reduction of our troops," Levin said. "Otherwise they're going to think we actually give a crap what happens to them after we blew up their country."

Senator John Kerry (D-Eadmanrunning.) said that he is considering another presidential bid in 2008 despite widespread criticism of what he called "a botched joke" that some received as denigrating troops in Iraq. "I've been working on my schtick." he told reporters. "Hey, did you hear the one about the Black priest, the blind Rabbi and the farmer's daughter?"

When asked for his position on the potential draft, Kerry said he did not agree with Senator McCain. "I want to be president so bad I'd French kiss Henry Kissinger's dog if it got me his support. Thank you. I'm here all week."

Hey, You have a father or mother in politics?. Check this out.

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