The Election Is Dead. Long Live The Election

Democratic Governor Tom Vilsack of Iowa took the initial step in his long-shot bid for the White House Thursday, establishing a presidential campaign committee and seeking an early jump on 2008.

Who?

"Americans sent a clear message on Tuesday. They want leaders who will take this country in a new direction," Vilsack, Iowa's two-term governor, said in a statement. "And I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Iowa fer chrissakes. I mean, how many different kinds of corn can you look at before you go completely howl at the moon bonkers?"

Although the favorite son in the early voting state, the Democratic governor has trailed the other potential candidates in early polling. "Wait, You mean there are other people running for president too?" Vilsak asked reporters. "Dang. I have got to get out more often."

Vilsack is the first Democrat to make a formal declaration for the presidency. Likewise, Representative Duncan Hunter of California is the only announced candidate on the Republican side. "I believe this country needs more war," Hunter told supporters at his announcement rally. "And I'm just the man to bring it to them. Besides, I think I'm the only Republican who'll be out of jail in 2008."

Vilsack said he will also announce his candidacy in New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Nevada and South Carolina. "Those are the only states I know how to get to right now," Vilsack said. "But my wife bought a map the other day, so we should be able to get to the rest of the states by primary season."

Vilsack said in his statement that he plans a "Gala Celebration of American Community" on December 2 in Des Moines as his initial fundraising event. "We figure to take in two, three hundred dollars in Des Moines," an aide to Vilsack said. "Then its off to Ottumwa for the really big bucks."