Oh, And Try Not To Panhandle In Front Of The City Club. The CEO Goes There for Lunch

We've written on several occasions about the heartwarming relationship that exists between greyhounds and their overlords. The care that goes into the birth, training, and support of the racers by the industry is truly a tale worthy of a Hallmark Hall of Fame Special. Well, except for the ones who are abandoned, or sold for medical experiments, or killed out right, or left to die slowly.

But it wasn't until we read this that we realized that it isn't only greyhounds who thrive and prosper under the benevolent gaze of their overlords.

Imagine that you expect to be laid off next month and you're fretting about how you'll make ends meet. Then your employer hands you a list of money-saving tips like pulling items out of the trash and taking shorter showers.That was the case at Northwest Airlines. "We really had a debate about that shorter shower thing," said a company spokesperson, "But then we realized, hey, they're laid off. What do we care how much they smell."

The tips comprised two pages of a 165-page booklet given to 60 ground workers who face layoffs in Bismarck, N.D.; Bozeman, Montana; and Austin, Texas. "It was a pilot program," Northwest's senior vice president of ground operations Crystal Knotek said. "Hey. I made a funny. 'Pilot program, get it? We're an airline. No wonder I'm vice president. Well, that and the president's my uncle."

The following tips were posted on the company's employee Web site early last week:

(We are not making this up--Ironicus)

• Don't be shy about pulling something you like out of the trash.

• Move to a less expensive place to live.

• Ask your doctor for samples of prescriptions.

• Use old newspapers for cat litter.

• Buy spare parts for your car at the junkyard.

• Search the Internet for freebies.

• Never go grocery (shopping) hungry.

• Take a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods.

"Well, the 'take a date for a walk' thing didn't go over so well with our married employees," said NWA spokesman Roman Blahoski. "But we were figuring that losing your job usually wrecks your marriage anyway. We're just trying to do what's best for our employees."

The information was removed from the company's internal site about a week after it was posted."Regrettably, this list, which included some insensitive material, was inadvertently published without being reviewed by Northwest management," the company said in a statement. "Had management reviewed it, we would have never published it in the first place because, heck, we've still got our jobs."