Yeah, But What If He Would Have Grown Up To Be A Republican?

We'd be the first to admit that science class didn't exactly rivet us to our seats when we plied the halls of academe. Mr. Lapius tried to tape us to our seat one time, but he got in trouble for that and retired soon after. With that little bit of background in mind, you may wonder why we are at all interested in the Stem Cell debate in Congress.

Truth is, we weren't, until we read the president said that a bill advocating science that destroys life to prolong other life, would be vetoed. Now this is coming from a guy who executed more people than any other governor, is responsible for hundreds of thousands of killed and injured Afghani and Iraqi civilians and conditions that are leading to the starvation of Iraqi children. This is the president who wants to research low yield tactical nuclear weapons for use on the battlefield, or against protesters who crash his "Town Hall" meetings.

Seemed a little ironic to us. Dare we say, ironicus at its maximus? What do you think Mr. DeLay?

DeLay said the debate was "A necessary and important step in our national conversation about the kind of people we will be. Are we going to pander to right wing whackos and get ourselves reelected, or are we going to favor legislation that will improve the health of people who probably won't vote for us anyway?"

DeLay said voting yes would amount to a "vote to fund with taxpayer dollars the dismemberment of living, distinct human beings for the purposes of medical experimentation." When asked how a cell could be "dismembered" when it didn't have any limbs, DeLay responded that Senator Frist had told him the cells had 'pretend limbs.' "And Frist is a Doctor," DeLay continued, "He's real smart. He even diagnosed Terri Schiavo just by looking at his TV."

When asked if American who oppose the war in Iraq should have an equal say in how their money is spent, DeLay responded that the war was a different set of circumstances because it involved mostly "brown people."

In a news conference announcing his opposition to the bill, President Bush explained the apparent contradiction between his policies on the death penalty and the war, with his opposition to the stem cell research bill. "Look. Until we know how you're going to vote we don't know if your life is going to be valuable or not. Well, unless your parents are rich."