Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Oh, We're In Session Baby

Who says our Congress is grid locked? At least one member seems to be getting the moves on.

Representative Don Sherwood told police he was giving Cynthia Ore a back rub when she “jumped up” and ran to the bathroom. Ore said Sherwood “choked her for no apparent reason” in his Washington D.C. apartment. Ah..."back rub..." So that's what the kids are calling it these days.

"OK. We were playing the Cowboy and the School Marm," Sherwood said. "I tripped on the can of chocolate body frosting after I lassoed her and I think the rope got caught around her neck, that's all."

"Both parties have left out significant information or are not willing to discuss in detail what actually happened,” Washington Metropolitan Police stated in the incident report. The Cowboy and School Marm explanation is "highly suspicious" according to the police. "When we got there Sherwood was dressed in indian garb with full war paint," said one of the first officers to arrive at the scene. "We think they were doing Indian Warrior and the Pastor's Wife. That would explain why she was tied to a coat rack in her underwear."

Ore, who is 29, said in a phone interview Thursday her friends and workers at a woman's resource center have encouraged her to consider some sort of legal action against Sherwood. “Thinking of that day I could cry and cry. I mean, he told me he was a Senator and it turns out he's just a Representative. I have my standards you know."

Sherwood, a first term Representative from Pennsylvania is considered one of the GOP's most promising candidates this year. "I was elected because my campaign focused on issues important to the people of my district," he said, "issues like Social Security, cutting taxes and bringing home federal dollars."

Congressman Sherwood, who is married, called Ore “an acquaintance” but wouldn't say why she was in his apartment. “Did I call her there, no. I had my secretary do it. You meet lots of people in Washington and some of them are easy. Heck, I'm 64 years old. You think the babes are beating a path to my door every night? I have to take 'em where I find 'em.” Sherwood said. He could not recall how long ago they met. "I think I was drunk at the time."

“People can say what they want to say. Its a political smear. I've never asked any of my opponents to discuss their personal lives and I'm not going to discuss mine. Unless I can out score Hastert. I don't know how he gets the chicks, but the guy's a walking babe magnet.” Sherwood said.

"Oh you can bet there's going to be some personal lives discussed," said Mrs. Sherwood, who was reached at the couple's home. "And that Cowboy School Marm stuff? Well, let's just say the good Representative Sherwood is going to milking the stallion for quite a while, if you get my meaning."

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