Friday Hound Blogging

You know, we kid the overlords a lot about their lack of...how to say this politely...the brains god gave a ping pong ball, but occasionally we run across some overlord effluvia that gives us pause and necessitates a reconsideration of our position vis a vis their neuronal output capacity. Take this article by Bruce Teague for example, in which Mr. Teague sets out on an analytical exegesis relative to the changing face of the rube population.

It’s hard to find out if any racing code actually knows who its customers are. There is certainly no evidence that Greyhound Racing does. None published anyway. The upshot is that if we don’t know who our customers are we will not know how they are changing as time goes on. And they have changed, for sure.

Of course this begs the question as to whether anyone would actually want to know a person who thinks losing the rent money two dollars at a time while innocent living creatures are injured and die in front of him or her is an activity someone claiming to be sentient would engage in, but let's leave that aside for the moment and see what Mr. Teague has discovered.

First and foremost, since there has been a radical decline in racecourse attendances, it follows that there must be a comparable decline in the average customer’s knowledge of racing. From personal observation, that same customer is less able, or less willing, to read a formguide – even the ones pinned up on the wall near him. sales of proper formguides are down anyway. Online formguides, all offered by state authorities except for subscribers to National Tabform, may well get lots of hits but whether they are used, and how, is a mystery.

Now, admittedly overlord logic escapes us most of the time, so we're not quite sure of the analytical basis Mr. Teague is using to connect the decline of greyhound racing with an increase in literacy. Perhaps he is implying that as the rubes learn to read, they read about instances like this, or this, or this, or heck maybe even this and decide they could probably get a better return on their gambling dollar out behind the parking garage lagging for quarters, with the added benefit that no innocent lives would be lost in the process.

Over the last 20 years, betting trends in all codes have moved away from Win to the exotics where seemingly more attractive rewards are available. This might be termed the “Lottery” influence. TABs have progressively introduced and pushed auto-bet options such as Mystery bets where the customer does not have to think. Effectively, he is playing a four-legged poker machine.

OK we think we can see where you're going with this Mr. Teague. As the rubes become more literate they ask themselves, "why should I be content with a 'lottery influence' when I can walk across the street and play a real lottery?" Or, "why should I play a 'four legged poker machine' when they have real ones right upstairs? Also too, if the real poker machines don't pay out, they aren't killed like the four legged ones. Win win, right?

Tipsters abound amongst the media and some authorities, all rarely successful, offering lots of Boxed Bets where you are destined to lose before you start – as is true of Mysteries. Anyone with basic arithmetic ability would be able to work this out – but, obviously, they don’t.

A ha! Gotcha. So the rubes are learning to read and add and subtract and that's upsetting the whole apple cart. Seems what the industry needs is more idiots, right? Anything else?

The majority of TAB betting pools are too small to offer any integrity or to absorb decent bets. There has been relatively little attention paid to improving track layouts, with the result that interference levels remain high and are a deterrent to the introduction of fresh big-spending punters. They will not be interested in events where the house effectively wipes 10% or so off the top before you start.

Hmmm...so the only people left who are dumb enough to bet on greyhound racing can't produce enough cash to make the money pool attractive to anyone who actually has enough skill to enable them to earn an income, and even if it were, the fact that the whole racing enterprise is one big scam set up to feed the greed of the overlords makes it unlikely the rubes would get much of a payout if there were more money to go around.

Thank you for your analysis Mr. Teague. This is truly a dilemma you've presented here, but to follow your line of reasoning on out, if the decline of institutionalized animal cruelty called greyhound racing is truly a function of the public's growing awareness of what a rip off it is, both economically and from a humanitarian standpoint, it seems your only recourse is to find some way to counteract the rising intelligence levels of the general public, or to...well...perhaps we should let the greyhounds have this one:

Anything to add Venus?

Venus Von Bones is a sweet, affectionate girl that craves attention. She loves to go for walks, but pulls a little bit on the leash although she is getting better. Venus can’t live with kitty cats. She doesn't mind going in her crate. She loves everyone she meets. Venus would do well in a home with a working family or if someone is home all day. She would do well with older, well-behaved children. She would do best as an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.


TK Update: He would be fine in a home with a single person or a family with older well-behaved children, or as an only dog or in a home with dogs his own size but no small dogs or cats please.