Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the When It Rains It Pours Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. WIRIP is a division of the Blood In The Water Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Mene, Mene, Tekel, u-Pharsin, NA.

As reported in this blog, the overlords in Tucson have found themselves in a spot of bother of late. First the legislature says, Dude. Race or don't race, we don't care. Then Dr. Joe "Needles" Robinson (Wally's College of Veterinary Medicine and Truck Driving School, class of '95) gets busted trucking the dogs into Tucson proper to shoot them up with steroids and the city commission is all like "Go somewhere else to break the law, ya freakin' embarrassment to Veterinary Medicine." And all this after several visits to the track by the local tee vee talking heads to interview track CEO Tom Taylor and get his explanation of why the welfare of the dogs always comes first.

As you may imagine, that didn't turn out so well.

Now, a normal person might think, "Dag! dealing with this many hassles to continue to provide industrialized animal cruelty to the people of Arizona is just not worth it, wonder if Walmart greeter school is still accepting applications," but one thing you can say about the overlords is, they aren't normal people.

After weeks of public scrutiny, the Tucson Greyhound Park won't be injecting female dogs with steroids any more. Instead of injecting the dogs with testosterone to prevent estrus, the track has decided to become female-free. CEO and general manager Tom Taylor said the track won't be accepting any more female dogs and expects the track to be all male in about a year and a half.

 Oh wow, the first all greyhound fraternity. What will you call it? I Beta Buck? Busta Bona Day? I Broka Leg? Iota Bank A Bunch? Man, the possibilities are endless here. But Tom, what happens to the girls in the mean time?

He said the current female dogs at the park will be allowed to go into heat. While in heat, the dogs will be separated and will not race for approximately 30 days.

Wait, aren't the girls already separated from the boys?  Even if they aren't in heat, you know how guys are, just a bunch of old hound dogs. Well, in this case literally hound dogs, but it sounds like what you're saying is nothing is going to change except the girls will be stuck in their cages even more when they're in heat. Why not just spay them and get it over with?

Taylor said spaying the dogs was not an option because it presents a serious risk to the dogs' health. "We've been advised by veterinarians across the country that this is the best course of action," Taylor said. "There's too much danger in spaying a female greyhound.

Now Tom, just because you talk to Joe "Needles" Robinson (Wally's College of Veterinary Medicine and Truck Driving School, class of '95) every day and he went to Mexico once does not mean you've talked to Veterinarians all over the world. Besides, if spaying is so dangerous, how come so many people recommend it?

Now that you mention it though, if you did go the spay route, Joe "Needles" Robinson (Wally's College of Veterinary Medicine and Truck Driving School, class of '95) would probably be the one doing the surgery huh? OK we see your point.

Fewer dogs mean fewer races and Taylor said he is uncertain if the track will survive if it can't find enough dogs to maintain a sustainable number of races.

Bummer. Still, the only other option is honest work so we have to give it to old Tom, not going to enter the labor pool without a fight. So, heat problem solved. Now can he get on with the business of exploiting innocent creatures for profit, meddlers and animal rights wackos?

Despite housing more than 700 dogs, Tucson Greyhound Park hasn't licensed any of them in 60 years. County records show there are only three licensed greyhounds listed in South Tucson, where the track is located. According to the city of South Tucson's animal ordinance, for every unaltered dog kept within the city for 30 consecutive days each year, owners must pay a $45 licensing fee.

 Holy crap! It's like these people just don't want you around or something. OK, Tom? Dude, let us give you a hand. Here's five bucks. Why don't you go buy a clue. Maybe you would like to tell him where to go Jazzy.

Jazzy will be two years old next month. She only raced nine times, so not the most profitable investment for the overlords, which meant she was booted early--a lucky break for her and the person who decides to offer her a permanent couch. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.