Smarts? We Don't Need No Stinking Smarts

So the old newspaper saying goes dog bites man, that's not news. Man bites dog, that's news. OK, not being trained in the journalistic science of journalism or anything, explain to us where this headline came from:

Rick Santorum tells audience that ‘smart people’ will never be on his side

Well...Duh.

"We will never have the media on our side, ever, in this country," Santorum said, according to video posted by Right Wing Watch. "We will never have the elite, smart people on our side, because they believe they should have the power to tell you what to do."

Yeah. We'll leave aside for the moment the fact that if you're by definition not a smart person, as you have just stated, you could probably use a smart person to tell you what to do. You know, things like don't eat dirt and come in out of the rain. Stuff like that.

"So our colleges and universities, they're not going to be on our side," he added. "The basic premise of America and American values will always be sustained through two institutions — the church and the family."

Umm...Rick? What about colleges associated with churches? You know, like Notre Dame? We once dated a girl from Notre Dame. Dropped us like a bag of hot rocks for a pre-med student. Seems pretty smart to us. Oh, and what about Liberty University? That's the university whose name is plastered all over the backdrop during your speech?

During his campaign for the Republican nomination, Santorum got some blowback after saying President Obama was a "snob" for promoting higher education. "President Obama once said he wants everybody in America to go to college," he said at the time. "What a snob." He walked back that comment after it was criticized by some Republicans, saying in a CNN interview that the remark was "probably not the smartest thing."

Ooh! Ooh! Let's show off our smart elite college education here and use a syllogism to explain why you shouldn't be surprised that you say dumb things:

Values Voters are not smart.
Santorum is a Values Voter.
Santorum is not smart.

For all you Values Voters out there who won't understand that because, you know, what Rick said. We've got a translation for you: Obama is a Kenyan Muslim who wants to force you to gay marry a socialist in a Sharia ceremony. Also, too. No guns.

Hope that clears it up.