Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Or It Could Just Mean They Want To Talk You To Death

We're coming to you today from the Department of Lexical Precision here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The DoLP is a division of the Noah Webster Slept Here Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of The King's English, NA.

Now, generally we refrain from commenting on christians' interpretive skills, assuming that anyone who can get a consistent story out of a book that contradicts itself on the most fundamental tenets of its belief system has got to be operating with some...erm...deficiencies. We usually let it pass without mentioning that it's pretty danged convenient how god always seems to want them to hate people they don't like anyway, except when those people happen to be the people you're supposed to send your money to and in fact it's even more important that you send your money to these people so the fight against secular humanism and situational ethics can continue to be fought. We're not monkeys. Also. Too.

Still, we find this latest little bit of linguistic prestidigitation to be a bit over the line though, even for those so logically challenged they think sending their money to a guy who has a private jet and tells them that's the way god wants them to get rich is a good idea. Dude. The guys' name is Creflo DOLLAR!! Hello??!? Is any of this getting through?

Well, back to our story. It seems god doesn't want to let any act of tolerance go unpunished (see second paragraph) and so in response to The Day of Silence, an event organized to protest the bullying and harassment faced by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered students all over America, a Day of Truth was created "to counter the promotion of the homosexual agenda and express an opposing viewpoint from a Christian perspective." OK, so the the "truth" is bullies and harassers are doing god's work? Also, didn't know tolerance was just a part of the homosexual agenda, what with Jesus saying love one another and all. Wait. Jesus never married. Hung around with a bunch of guys, didn't like sports. Yeah. Certainly explains Pastor Giles.

But the "truth" will set you free and it did just that for a lot of gay kids. Set them right free from their lives that is, and maybe god got a little tired of all those little heathens showing up at the pearly gates because they'd been truthed right into killing themselves, so he told his homies to back off.

Apparently James Dobson (yes that James Dobson) didn't get the memo though because he picked up the day and changed it's name to Day of Dialogue. "We're trying to raise awareness that more than one side needs to be heard on the issue of homosexuality, and we're helping to ensure Christian students have the chance to listen to our viewpoint that queers are icky and the really manly thing to do it beat the snot out of them every chance you get," Focus on the Family education analyst Candi Cushman said in a news release."But only with the utmost christian love in your heart," she added.

OK so is this how "Dialogue" goes?

Icky queer: "Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, fairness and tolerance regardless of their ethnic background, religion, sexual preference, or gender." 

Dialoguing Christian: Die icky queer, die. Burn in hell and take your homosexual agenda with you."

Hmm...It occurs to us that this is not exactly Platonic in its construct. 

Gary Schneeberger, Vice President of Communications for Focus on the Family stressed that Focus on the Family has a "100% zero tolerance for bullying" over sexual orientation or anything else. He said The Day of Dialogue aims to "ensure that Christian students feel comfortable having the opportunity to bring our view of god's design for sexuality. Well, except that we don't want christian kids feeling comfortable about sex and especially not talking about sex. Don't ask, don't tell, that's our position."

Yeah, and if your definition of bullying is anything like your definition of dialogue the gay kids will keep being "dialogued" right into the emergency room. And that's the truth.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Not only are BOTH Dobson's hands in his pockets, (and Mother never liked that!) anyone notice how "Focus On the Family" is huge and in GOLD?
Like they say:" Productive".