Friday Hound Blogging

Every once in a while we read stories by a professional journalistic reporters and we think, did some freak sunspot break the rhetorical bonds between subject and object? Did the humble scribe mistakenly hit the "scramble" key when she mean to hit save. Is there a lax drinking at work policy at The Dogs.com?

Greyhound Racing NSW Stewards have concluded their inquiries into a report received from GBOTA employee Mr Richard Abarcherli alleging the use of a live animal in the catching pen of the Wentworth Park greyhound track after the conduct of the trials...

OK, so far no big deal. Overlord throws a living rabbit into a pen full of greyhounds. Happens all the time. We mean, these are highly trained athletes. How else you gonna get them to chase  a lure unless you let them kill and dismember another living creature from time to time? Gotta keep your edge, you know? Besides, the rabbits don't really suffer. Well, after ten or twenty minutes or so.

Mr Abarcherli alleged the use by Mr Bell of a rabbit released from a box as a lure for two greyhounds handled by Mr Bell and Mr White at the conclusion of a trial. Mr Bell argued that the rabbit used was procured from a person off the track and was deceased upon purchase, tethered and placed in the box as a normal educational practice for the greyhounds.

Oh yeah, you bought a dead rabbit. What do you think this is? A Monty Python skit?

Having regard to the serious nature of the alleged offence Stewards felt that the standard of evidence did not reach the level whereby a charge under the Rules of Greyhound Racing could be sustained.

Now, as professional educational technicians, we have to tell you if that sentence construction were anymore passive it'd make Huckleberry Hound look like Brian. And the "standard of evidence did not reach the level...?" The rabbit was alive, and then it was dead. Are we missing some nuance in the law here?

Prosecutor: "Your honor, the rabbit was found dead in the pen tied to a stake. Why tie a dead rabbit to a stake? We would have done an autopsy but parts were scattered all over the yard."

Defense: "Your Honor, we have it on good authority that the alleged rabbit was despondent over the collapse of his marriage and may very well have entered the pen willingly and against the wishes of my client."

Prosecutor: "Objection your Honor. The rabbit had everything to live for. He had just signed a long term contract to provide Easter Bunny Services to the biggest mall in the area."

Judge: Gentleman, this is truly a conundrum. I doubt we'll ever get to the bottom of it. Case dismissed. Now, who wants pie?"

Mr Bell was ruled to have no charge to answer. He was reminded however to acquaint himself with the rules regarding lures used at various tracks as it was alleged that he had been in breach of the recommendations for lure presentation at Wentworth Park at that time.

Wait, this was a procedural case? You mean there are some tracks where it's OK to throw a live rabbit to the dogs? Mr. Bell just violated protocol? What, he didn't give the rabbit a sennibari before he tied it in the pen? Didn't teach the rabbit to squeak Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutan first? Are we missing something here?

Well, on the bright side, since we already know the overlords don't care a wit for the welfare of the dogs at least it's comforting to know that there's an innocent living creature that they care even less about. Got to take your victories where you find then, huh Molly?

Like Busy Bee, Molly is fresh off the track and we don't know a lot about her other than she's two years old seems to tolerate cats. The dogs are coming off faster and faster now as the industry enters its final death spiral and it taxes the resources of all those people out there who have souls. If you can help, we'd all appreciate it--particularly the dogs, whose lives you would be saving. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.