Lions And Tigers And Mosques Oh My!

People make a lot of fun of the Tea Baggers, OK we make a lot of fun of the Tea Baggers, but as professional education technologists we're only pointing out examples of invented spelling, which is a perfectly legitimate stage in the development of linguistically competent speakers and writers. It's just that most people grow out of it by second grade. Come to think of it, that explains a lot of their political positions too.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Tea Baggers, or as they like to be called, Social Security recipients who never took a dime from the government and resent the heck outta that darkie muslin feller trying to send them off to FEMA camps without their Hoverounds. No guns. Also. Too.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. John Q Citizen you're about to laugh out the other side of your mouth now and quit laughing because while you've been out doing things like working for a living, the Tea Baggers have been manning (yeah, manning. you got a problem with that?) the watchtowers of democracy and like watch geese, like canaries in the coal mine, like rats when the ship starts to sink...OK forget that one. The point is their vigilance has paid off because they've identified the islamofascist fifth column right here in our very own United States Of America.

People behind a new church in Phoenix are trying to stay ahead of any potential controversy or hate that accompanied the announcement of a proposed mosque near Ground Zero in New York City.

Oh you can try Abdul, but we got eyes on your falafel loving buttocks and you're not about to put anything over on old Uncle Sam while there's juice in the Amigo battery.

Since the distinctive dome shape went up, church leaders said they have received phone calls from concerned neighbors who've mistaken the building for an Islamic mosque.

Ring Ring!

Pastor: Hello?

Caller: Yeah. You the folks buildin' that church out by the innerstate?

Pastor: Yes sir. The Light of the World church.

Caller: Yeah. You ain't none them A rabs er ya? We don't want none o them moosks here in Arizona.

Pastor: Many churches have domes sir. Greek and Roman Orthodox, the Basilica of St. Peters in the Vatican....

Caller: Vatican? You fish eaters?

Pastor: No sir. We're nondenominational.

Caller: What's that? Like Presbyterian or something?

Pastor: Or something.

Church officials hung a sign reminding people they're Christian congregation. "We're trying to let people know that we're Christian and our churches are modern," said Uzieo Martinez.

 Martinez? This some sort of church for illegal aliens? Bertha! Charge up the Rascal!