Monday, May 10, 2010

They're Taking Jobs From Americans, But They're Being Very Polite About It

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the ultimate comfort of surrender...er...we mean know that we call the Water Winter Wonderland our home and have been proud Michiganians (Not Michiganders you out state yahoos!) for many years now. Treasured are the afternoons we have wiled away watching Michigan Outdoors or yelling at the screen as reluctant witnesses to yet another Lions collapse. Yes, we count ourselves authentic pierogi eating, fudge buying, American made sons of the pleasant peninsula. Plus we hate that so called University in Ann Arbor which makes us even more true...um...blue.

That didn't come out quite right, but the point is as card carrying fans of our adopted state we have often turned a jaded eye on our fellow citizens unlucky enough to have to live in a state not surrounded on three sides by one fifth of the world's surface fresh water supply. In fact just the other day we pointed out some less than attractive features of living in the Grand Canyon State.

We may have spoken a bit prematurely.
A Michigan lawmaker believes the state's law enforcement officers need the authority to arrest illegal immigrants and is drafting legislation similar to Arizona's new immigration law.
 See, because now when the police find an illegal immigrant instead of arresting him the cops have to give him $50 and a ride to wherever he wants.

Representative Kim Meltzer, R-Clinton Township (91.2% white and wanting to keep it that way, there Juan), said her bill would allow police to request proof of citizenship from people who are stopped and questioned on another offense, such as eating a home made burrito or having no tan lines. Officers would have the authority to arrest people who can't prove their legal status, or who pronounce violet as 'biolet' and say 'tink' instead of think. "The founding fathers didn't intend for this country to be overrun by other races," Meltzer told reporters. "That's why they killed off all the Indians."

"We have borders in place for a reason," Meltzer said. "Everyone should play by the rules. Well, except for us white folks who get to make the rules."

Meltzer, who's a candidate for state Senate in the August primary election, said racial profiling — a key fear among opponents of Arizona's law — would not be tolerated.  "Just because the good lord made you brown isn't automatically a cause for suspicion, but you have to wonder why, if god could have made Jesus any color he wanted, why did he make him white? I mean, just look at the pictures."

Ken Grabowski, legislative director for the Police Officers Association of Michigan, said a law giving local police more authority is "probably something that needs to be done. Would we be able to TASE them first? Got to be able to TASE the little amigos 'cause once they get to running my people ain't about to catch them."
Meltzer said Michigan law enforcement officers have been left with the responsibility to protect the state against those who sneak across the U.S.-Canadian border. Federal border officials allocated about $20 million a year ago for 11 cameras to be set up along the St. Clair River to watch for illegal immigrants crossing from Canada.
Whoa. Wait a minute. We thought you were talking about the Hispanicals, but you're talking about Canadians? Crap. That is serious.

4 comments:

scripto said...

"...fudge buying, American made sons of the pleasant peninsula."

That's fudge packing you Spartanian losers.

Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the Mid-American Conference?

Go lions!

Ironicus Maximus said...

Didn't we ban you? Crap. We have got to read those directions sober one of these days.

scripto said...

Sorry. I was out of line. I was just thinking with all the merger talks in the Big Ten they would need to make some room for, you know, some teams that actually play something that resembles football.

Ironicus Maximus said...

You don't seriously expect us to take criticism from a guy who wrote "Go Lions" at the bottom of his last post do you? Go Lions? Really? Now there's a MAC candidate.