They're Taking Jobs From Americans, But They're Being Very Polite About It

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the ultimate comfort of surrender...er...we mean know that we call the Water Winter Wonderland our home and have been proud Michiganians (Not Michiganders you out state yahoos!) for many years now. Treasured are the afternoons we have wiled away watching Michigan Outdoors or yelling at the screen as reluctant witnesses to yet another Lions collapse. Yes, we count ourselves authentic pierogi eating, fudge buying, American made sons of the pleasant peninsula. Plus we hate that so called University in Ann Arbor which makes us even more true...um...blue.

That didn't come out quite right, but the point is as card carrying fans of our adopted state we have often turned a jaded eye on our fellow citizens unlucky enough to have to live in a state not surrounded on three sides by one fifth of the world's surface fresh water supply. In fact just the other day we pointed out some less than attractive features of living in the Grand Canyon State.

We may have spoken a bit prematurely.

A Michigan lawmaker believes the state's law enforcement officers need the authority to arrest illegal immigrants and is drafting legislation similar to Arizona's new immigration law.

 See, because now when the police find an illegal immigrant instead of arresting him the cops have to give him $50 and a ride to wherever he wants.

Representative Kim Meltzer, R-Clinton Township (91.2% white and wanting to keep it that way, there Juan), said her bill would allow police to request proof of citizenship from people who are stopped and questioned on another offense, such as eating a home made burrito or having no tan lines. Officers would have the authority to arrest people who can't prove their legal status, or who pronounce violet as 'biolet' and say 'tink' instead of think. "The founding fathers didn't intend for this country to be overrun by other races," Meltzer told reporters. "That's why they killed off all the Indians."

"We have borders in place for a reason," Meltzer said. "Everyone should play by the rules. Well, except for us white folks who get to make the rules."

Meltzer, who's a candidate for state Senate in the August primary election, said racial profiling — a key fear among opponents of Arizona's law — would not be tolerated.  "Just because the good lord made you brown isn't automatically a cause for suspicion, but you have to wonder why, if god could have made Jesus any color he wanted, why did he make him white? I mean, just look at the pictures."

Ken Grabowski, legislative director for the Police Officers Association of Michigan, said a law giving local police more authority is "probably something that needs to be done. Would we be able to TASE them first? Got to be able to TASE the little amigos 'cause once they get to running my people ain't about to catch them."

Meltzer said Michigan law enforcement officers have been left with the responsibility to protect the state against those who sneak across the U.S.-Canadian border. Federal border officials allocated about $20 million a year ago for 11 cameras to be set up along the St. Clair River to watch for illegal immigrants crossing from Canada.

Whoa. Wait a minute. We thought you were talking about the Hispanicals, but you're talking about Canadians? Crap. That is serious.

Canada! Because American Politics Isn't Screwed Up Enough

We understand some people want to be president. Not really sure why since after Bush gets done the duties of the next president will be primarily to keep roving bands of marauders from stripping the White House for firewood and doing some gardening for our Chinese overlords.

Oh sure, McCain has wanted to be president since he was beaten in the South Carolina primary by Grant, but John, we have to tell you spending five and a half years in Andersonville doesn't carry the weight today it did back then.

Then we have the democrats who are apparently in secret negotiations with the Canadians to relocate the capitol to Winnipeg. Or something.

A candid comment to journalists from CTV News by Prime Minister Stephen Harper's most senior political staffer, Ian Brodie provided the initial spark in what the American media are now calling NAFTAgate. "It's really a tempest in a tea pot," Harper said. "The Americans are just concerned about how the agreement can be implemented since no one in American makes anything anymore."

Mr. Brodie was asked about remarks aimed by the Democratic candidates at Ohio's anti-NAFTA voters that carried serious economic implications for Canada. He downplayed those concerns."Quite a few people heard it," said one source in the room."He said someone from (Hillary) Clinton's campaign is telling the embassy to take it with a grain of salt. . . That someone called us and told us not to worry."

But wait. didn't Clinton say Obama had been the one to talk with the Canadians?

Mr. Brodie sought to allay concerns about the impact of Mr. Obama and Ms. Clinton's assertion that they would re-negotiate NAFTA if elected. "All those American politicians look alike to me," Brodie said. "I could have been mistaken."

Hey, that's not funny. Who's this guy think he is, Ralph Nader?

NDP Leader Jack Layton is asking Mr. Harper to call on the Mounties to find out how the leaks occurred. "There can be no doubt about it: the leak from within the Canadian government has had an impact now on the American elections," Mr. Layton said Wednesday. "That is about the worst thing a country could do to another country — to have an effect on their democratic process. Oh wait, this is America. Do they still have a democratic process?"