Wednesday, January 14, 2009

If The Screen Actors Guild Goes On Strike, There Goes Our Foreign Policy

We're coming to you today from the Department of Redundancy Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The DoRD is a subsidiary of the Get A Clue Corporation in partnership with Haven't You Been Paying Attention The Last Eight Years, Inc.

It seems our good friends on the right side of the political spectrum have lost their way again and wandered off the path we like to call "Reality," and now are unable to find their way to the city we like to call "Sanity."

Beck and the Fox & Friends hosts also invoked 24 as a justification for the use of torture. Referring to the show's recent season premiere, in which protagonist Jack Bauer, a former member of the fictional "Counter Terrorist Unit," defends his use of torture during a hearing before Congress, Beck said: "[I]t's going to take somebody who sits in front of Congress who is not afraid of them anymore and does what Jack Bauer did. And that is, 'Yes, I did torture, and I'm proud of it.'


We've had this talk before.

And before that.

Look folks, put these fevered dreams of projected masculinity aside and GET A GRIP! There is no Jack Bauer. He is played by an ACTOR named Kiefer Sutherland--emphasis on PLAYED. And this ACTOR also PLAYED Athos in the three Musketeers. Yes, that's right, he PLAYED a swishy Frenchman who went around brandishing his "sword."

And before that he PLAYED a character named The Nutcracker Prince.

See a pattern here?

See, Kiefer Sutherland gets money for pretending he is someone else, sort of like you folks, who get money for pretending to be smarter than a wet fart.

Now, turn the teevee off and don't make us come down there with a carload of Clozapine.

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