Will He Still Have Cable?

Hmm...seems plans for Mr. Bush's post presidential residence have hit a snag.

A jail in northern Texas has been closed and its nearly 60 inmates transferred as authorities investigate what they call dangerous conditions for jailers and those behind bars — including cells that locked from the inside or contained recliners. "Hey, come on," said Jack McGaughey, district attorney for Montague, Clay and Archer counties. "This guy was the leader of the free world for eight years. Even if he did make it less free, he deserves a little comfort. They weren't even top of the line recliners, just some stuff we got on sale at Walmart."

McGaughey said some surveillance cameras' cords had been disconnected; recliners were in cells; some bathrooms and cells could be locked from the inside; and inmates had made partitions out of paper towels to block jailers' views inside their cells. "I know, I know," he added. "People tell me he's been taking away our privacy ever since before 9/11 so why should he have any, but I say, the past is past. Well, except for all those people killed and wounded. And their families. And the people who lost their livelihoods. And their houses. And the people without health care. And folks along the gulf coast. And the economy. OK maybe he doesn't deserve any perks."

The jail in Montague County, about 65 miles northwest of Fort Worth, has had problems in the past. In early 2002, four inmates broke out after overpowering a guard with a homemade knife. The two convicted killers and two murder suspects drove off in the guard's SUV but were caught 10 days later hunting with vice president Cheney.

A spokesperson for Mr. Bush said talk of incarceration was "premature" as there hadn't even been a charges made yet, "and then we'll have the whole trial thing to get through, and the appeals, not to mention that the whole thing is moot because the president is going to forward pardon himself and everyone he's come in contact with in the last eight years."

The U.S. attorney's office also is working with the FBI and may bring federal charges, McGaughey said. The FBI in Dallas did not immediately return calls seeking comment.

Oops. Better get the pardon pen out Mr. Bush, and this time try not to screw it up.