Monday, September 08, 2008

Some Helpful Advice From Ironicus Maximus

Full disclosure: We're not political consultants. Don't even play them on the tee vee. We hardly ever pay attention to the public mood, seldom read anything other than the sports page, haven't seen Meet The Press in years and couldn't tell you how a bill becomes a law if you put a gun to our heads.

Wait a minute, that makes us as qualified as Dick Morris.

Well, be that as it may, we're still not going to charge for this little piece of advice we'd like to pass along to the McCain campaign, specifically his running mate Sarah I-can-be-mean-to-you but-you-can't-be-mean-to-me Palin.

Now, in her speech at the republican convention she said :
"I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a ‘community organizer,’ except that you have actual responsibilities,"
OK, see Sarah--may we call you Sarah, or would you prefer Mrs. Could-be-president-god-help-us-all? Yeah, simple is best. Now Sarah, the thing about making fun of Community Organizers is that you have to remember they like, organize things in their communities. And one of the things they organize is getting out the vote. So you see, ticking off people who can bring a lot of other people to the polls is not the smartest move you could make.

Now, you're probably thinking, so what if I alienate the very people who can mobilize voters for my opponent, this is the republican party, our voter suppression methods can not be defeated.

Yeah, well there is that, but here's the thing: suppressing absentee ballots overly emphasizes ballots cast by old people and they are the ones most likely to vote for you because...well...they're old and easily confused.

Hey, maybe we are qualified to be political consultants. Or candidates.


Anonymous said...

According to CNN, the latest is that Republican men prefer Palin...and Republican women prefer least extreme right Republican Party males aren't going after children or other men in airport washrooms for quickies; Palin does serve a purpose!
We can only hope Obama calms just half the fantasies needed to quench neglected Republican wives of the 21st Century. Someone should tell him to cook grits on Rachel Ray; do the jig with Ellen and finally, jump on a couch with Oprah...obviously, the sky is the limit with all these uptight, suppressed, Republican wives. There is HOPE!

George said...

Ironicus, you have to be into toe sucking to compare yourself to Dick Morris.

Ironicus Maximus said...

Anybody's toes in particular, or just toes in general?

Anonymous said...

EEEEEEEEE gads...Dick Morris? Anyone who is on the same FOX channel with the same ideas and same agenda as Bill (and all his past women of the night ,in dreams or lawsuits)...toe sucking is high on the " to please " lists!
Why Dick wanted to leave the country if Hill got elected beats me...Palin is a whole lot scarier with her guns, her Pentecostal weirdness, and all her non-stop breeding.
Alaska the last refuge before the "Judgement of God"? Oh man...these Republicans just get more insane.That is precisely the reason for Roland Martin on MTV telling exactly what all nations, overseas, think, of extreme right-wing crazies..."cowboys with
guns" is the lightest, kindest remark in International circles. Thieves, corruption, uneducated, heathens, is more precise with anyone with all the facts.
Toe sucking? More like BBQ pork! (and oh so greasy.)