The Guy's Got To Do What He Does Best

Imagine our relief when we returned from a weekend of...well...nevermind, and find that all of our worries about the future of our country have been put to rest by this.

President Bush is returning to his conservative agenda after being distracted from his message the past few months by hurricanes, an anti-war mother and a failed Supreme Court nomination.

Whew! Got that "distraction" of a hurricane out of the way, now we can get back to business. Umm...what is that business anyway?

"What you will see more of next year is the president going back to what he does best -- pretending we're winning the war and getting tax cuts for rich folks," White House deputy press secretary Trent Duffy said.

The White House went on the offensive on Iraq, rebuking a Democratic congressman for suggesting that U.S. forces be withdrawn from Iraq immediately. "We showed him," Duffy said. And we will continue to attack the character of anyone who speaks against our policies, because it's easier than defending them."

Mr. Bush made an unscheduled statement in the White House Rose Garden about positive economic news, which included strong job gains and falling gasoline prices. "We figure to talk our way around to victory on the home front the same as we have in Iraq," said White House Press Secretary Scott McCllelan. "We're winning there you know," he added. "It's just that reporters never get out of the green zone to report on the good things happening in the country."

The president delivered the second of four scheduled speeches to detail the White House strategy for victory in Iraq, citing specific progress. "Less people are dying in Iraq today than the last time there were more people dying." the president said.

The strategy appears to have paid off. A New York Times-CBS News poll conducted Dec. 2-6 showed the president's approval rating at 40 percent, up from 35 percent in October. "It's true the question was, 'whom do you favor more, President Bush, or brain eating zombies,' but we're taking it as a positive sign," said Duffy.

Gary Bauer, president of the Republican front group Americans Values, said Mr. Bush's approval ratings rose "because he's put victory back on the table in Iraq. Now, if we can just keep the insurgents from blowing up the table we'll be OK."

"He has nothing to fear from the anti-war movement," Mr. Bauer said. "Well, except for the fact that they're right, but when has that ever mattered in this administration?"