So This Is Why The Choir Is Able To Hit Those High Notes

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the true secret to success is sustaining delusion under the unrelenting onslaught of reality...erm...we mean know that on more than one occasion we have taken the church catholic to task for its less than progressive views in certain matters, like all the ones that relate to real life for instance. Hey, you want to believe that people actually think you're cool because you speak Latin, go ahead, but trying to tell us your posse is banging the choirboys because of disco? Not buying it.

Now, it occurs to us that our coverage of the red hat gang may have given you the impression that we think they're a bunch of crusty old perverts living off the superstitious, the illiterate, the gullible and Rick Santorum, who are more concerned with keeping their sweet sweet ride going than with your immortal soul. OK, including Rick Santorum makes the first part of the list kind of unnecessary, but the point is fair and balanced is one of our core principles, right up there with never blog sober. That means when pope Prada's boys do something right we are duty bound to bring it to your attention.

Castrating young men to "cure" them of their homosexuality was how the Roman Catholic Church in the Netherlands treated gays in the 1950s, according to a Dutch newspaper, which claims at least 10 men were forced to go under the knife at the church's behest. The newspaper said the castrations were regarded both as a treatment for homosexuality, as well as a punishment for those who accused clergy of sexual abuse.

Oh sure, it sounds bad when you say it like that, but think about it for a moment. These innocent priests could have pressed charges against the ten young men who obviously tried to seduce them, yet acting with the loving compassion that we have come to expect from a church that thinks dying in childbirth is a career choice, they instead had their accusers' balls cut off, curing their obvious homosexuality and saving them from a life of sadness, sodomy, careers in interior design and an overly developed fashion sense.

The newspaper said 20-year-old Henk Hethuis had been surgically castrated on the instructions of Catholic priests in 1956 after he told police he was being abused at the Harreveld boarding school in Gelderland. Although the monks were convicted of the abuse, Heithuis was nonetheless sent to a Catholic psychiatric hospital and then castrated. He died two years later in a car crash.

Can there ever be a better example of ungratefulness than Henk? We mean, even though their lives were made a shambles by his unfounded accusations, these truly sainted men went out of their way to see that his homosexuality was...um...nipped in the bud...so to speak. And while we're on the subject of saintliness, can there ever be a more heart breaking example of the failure of a justice system than the unwarranted conviction of these poor monks? It's no wonder god killed Henk and made it look like a car accident.

We may have to rethink our whole attitude towards the church. Well, either that or start taking public transportation.