Friday, March 09, 2012

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Dr Frankenstein Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. DFD is a subsidy of the Careful What You Wish For Company in partnership with All of the Alien movies.

It seems no less a publication that the New York Times has noticed that the overlords may have overshot the mark a bit in their strategy for keeping themselves out of the labor pool. As the headline puts it:

Well put we must admit, but personally we think Dr. Frankenstein might have said it best when,watching his new creation stir on the table he lovingly mussed Igor's hair, patted the hunch on his back and opined, "It's Alive!"

Later he was to add a coda to his celebratory pronouncement, "I may have made a slight miscalculation." 

But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
After a decade in which more than half the greyhound tracks in the country have closed, many of the remaining operations have survived thanks to the model used at Bluffs Run. Over the years, the tracks, which were there first, won permission from states to add slot machines and poker tables under the condition that a chunk of the profits go to the dog races — essentially subsidizing one form of gambling with another.
 Now, like the good Doctor, at this point we can envision the overlords sitting around congratulating themselves and wondering where Igor was with that six pack of domestic beer they'd sent him for. Like old Franky they were ready to GET THIS PARTY STARTED! Turns out Igor had hopped a plane to the coast and was never heard from again. Even he was smart enough to figure this one out and rumor has it was part owner in a chain of Sushi Joints when it came time for the overlords to echo that quote made famous by the Franken Father, "We may have made a slight miscalculation."
Now, after years defending greyhound racing against attacks that it is inhumane, a growing number of track owners are, to the astonishment of opponents and the dismay of fans, joining the critics among the animal rights groups. Complaining that they are being forced to spend millions of dollars a year to subsidize a pastime that the public has all but abandoned, greyhound track owners in Iowa, Florida and Arizona have been lobbying for changes in the law that would allow them to cut the number of races, or even shut down their tracks, while keeping their far more lucrative gambling operations.
Man! Where's a bunch of peasants with pitchforks and torches when you need them, huh?
“There is no reason to continue spending money on a dying sport,” said Bo Guidry, general manager at the Horseshoe Council Bluffs casino complex, which includes Bluffs Run.
 Well look at the bright side Mr. Guidry. At least the industry is dying. If it were already dead you'd have that whole zombie thing going on and you know what a hassle that could be.
Caesars Entertainment, which owns the operation and was required to spend $10 million last year on dog racing, has offered to pay the state $49 million for the right to close the track.
Hmm...that's an idea. If the peasants had just offered Dr. F a few shekels to move his operation down the road a little we might have had an entirely different story.  But how come if it's only costing you 10 mil you're willing to pay almost five times that to get rid of it? You must really hate the overlords, dude. We mean, compared to you the peasants were about to invite the monster to join the local Rotary or something.
“The racing end was used as a ticket to help them acquire those licenses,” said Gary Guccione, secretary-treasurer of the National Greyhound Association, which is based in Kansas, where the last track closed two years ago. “And now they’re trying to push racing out.”
You know, that sounds like something Dr, Frankenstein might say. "All I wanted to do was reanimate one little corpse. Maybe train it to do a little light housework, tend my garden. And now look at the mess I'm in."

Yeah, well if he thinks it's bad now, he better not skip ahead to the end of the story, right Bo?

Bo is a confident, friendly, affectionate boy who wants to be friends with everyone he meets; going for walks to greet his “fan club” is one of his favorite things to do. With his brindle color, heart shaped nose and outgoing, friendly personality, he’s irresistibly cute. He is a smart boy who knows “sit”, “down”, “come” and “leave it”; he is willing to learn more for a treat. He will sit and lay down without being asked when he sees someone reaching into the treat jar. He is very affectionate and loves to give kisses and will lean against you for pets. Being an epileptic dog, Bo needs a home that has experience with seizures. Bo also needs a home that is stable, has a consistent routine and very few changes as well as one that can cope with the stresses of having an epileptic dog. He will also need to be more of a homebody dog (i.e. no travelling, large gatherings or meet and greets) as stress and change can trigger seizures. Due to the side effects of his anti-seizure medication, he also needs a home where someone is home often and can let him out every few hours to go potty. Bo would be fine as an only dog or in a home with another dog, as long as his family is able to separate them or restrain the other dog if Bo has a seizure. He also needs to be crated while home alone to prevent injury to himself in case of a seizure. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

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