It looks like Newt Gingrichs' new strategy for winning the republican nomination is to give up on getting people to vote for him and go directly to the convention where people will finally realize what he's been telling them all along, because the sheer force of his intellect and grandness of his character will be so compressed by being forced inside a building as small as a convention center it will create such a pressure of awesomeness everyone else's IQ will increase by sixty points and they'll finally be smart enough to see how smart Newt is so he will be declared the nominee by acclimation. Romney will introduce Gingrich before his acceptance speech and Santorum will lead the prayers.
"I think you'll then have one of the most interesting open conventions
in American history," Gingrich said Tuesday during a stop in Annapolis,
Md to have his ego inspected by state Haz-Mat officials. "And by that I mean one that is going to ignore the rules, precedent and basic reality to pick me because of my awesome awesomeness. Which is awesome by the way."
He said the question will be, "Who can best beat Barack Obama? And at
that point, I think most Republicans would probably agree that I would
probably do a better job debating Obama than any other candidate, and I
think it becomes a very viable, very lively campaign." When a reporter asked if Gingrich knew the difference between winning a debate and winning an election, communications director Joe DeSantis said that the candidate didn't involve himself in the minor details of the campaign. "Newt's a big picture guy," DeSantis explained. "Have I mentioned he's awesome?"
Later Gringich's office issued a press release announcing their new campaign slogan, "Stay Thirsty My Friend."
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