There Is No Truth To The Rumor That He Kicks Puppies For Fun

We're coming to you today from the You Thought I'd Never Amount To Anything Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. YTINATA is a division of the Short Man Syndrome Corporation in partnership with Heart Like A Raisin, LLC.

By way of a little background and context we need to tell you that the unemployment rate in Ohio is 9%, or if you're State Sen. Tim Grendell, another way of saying it is one in ten people in Ohio are drug addicts freeloading off the public dole.

“Hard working taxpayers of the state of Ohio should not have to pay for the drug habits of illegal drug users,” Grendell said in a press release.

 Right. Because lord knows if these people wanted to work, they could, what with jobs practically falling out of the trees around here.

Those seeking state aid would have to pay for the drug tests but would be reimbursed if they pass, the release said. Those who fail a second time would be banned from receiving aid for three years.

Grendell is also sponsoring a Bill to charge people who are eligible for food stamps because, hey times are tough. Why should we be giving food away?

The proposal is patterned after a aw already in effect in Florida, Grendell said.

Hmm...Hey Timmy, might want to look into that just a tad more before you save the hardworking taxpayers of Ohio from subsidizing the drug addicts you apparently see around every corner.

The Department of Children and Families' central region has tested 40 applicants since the law went into effect six weeks ago, and of those 40 applicants, 38 tested negative for drugs. The cost to the state of Florida to reimburse those 38 individuals who tested negative was at least $1,140 over the course of six weeks. Meanwhile, denying benefits to the two applicants who tested positive will save Florida less than $240 a month.

Well, it's not really about saving the people of Ohio money anyway, is it Timmy? It's about payback for all those people who were mean to you in middle school isn't it? We mean, just look at this guy and tell us he wasn't shoved in his locker on a daily basis.

Grendell currently is seeking cosponsors for the proposal. 

But since the other legislators won't let him sit with them at lunch he's had trouble getting support.