Thursday, August 18, 2011

BREAKING: Romney Agrees With You. In Other News, Ocean Remains Salty

Well here's a headline that didn't need to be written:

Of course Romney's "in sync" with the Tea Party. He's also "in sync" with moderate republicans (both of them) business interests, labor, the poor, Cubs fans, vegetarians, Rastafarians, Mayans, people who call soccer football, insurance companies, people shafted by insurance companies, left handers, people who believe the designated hitter rule killed baseball, astronauts, base jumpers, voice activated computers, Billy Budd, the NFL, the Baader-Meinhoff gang, Chuck Norris, Gamers, organic chicken farmers...whew. It'd be easier to put together a list of  things Romney isn't "in sync" with. Laws governing the transportation of companion animals perhaps. We can't think of any more.
Many Tea Party members don't see themselves as "in sync" with Romney, however. In Massachusetts he helped author the statewide healthcare mandate that was an inspiration for President Barack Obama's 2010 national health reforms
Oh now that's just unfair right there. We mean, do you know how much work it takes to be on all sides of an issue? Do you realize the strain that gets put on Romney's back from bending every way the wind blows? Can you even imagine the size of his chiropractic bill? And we're not even going to get into what years of talking out of both sides of your mouth does to you. We seriously think you need to reconsider there Mr. and Ms. Tea Party members. Governor Romney is being totally sincere here.

“Romney for the most part is inaccessible,’’ said Hemingway, a Bristol resident who is chairman of the state’s Republican Liberty Caucus. As the former Massachusetts governor lays the groundwork for a possible second presidential run, he has largely shunned Tea Party activists in key primary states, including the state he must win if he enters the race, New Hampshire.
Well, sure but that was like six months ago. How long does a guy have to stick with a policy before you start to call him rigid in his beliefs. Say what you will about Governor Romney, but rigid in his beliefs is not something you'll ever be able to utter without soiling yourself.

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