After A Long Day Of Chasing The Faithful, Pope Benedict Likes To Relax With An Ice Cold Coca-Cola

You know, sometimes we feel a little bad picking on Bene the pope like we do. We mean, take yesterday for example where we started off with Stephan Hawking and god, then ended up with Bene and the pervs. Admittedly not a hard journey to take, but how many different ways can you say the same thing before people are all like we get it Ironicus, we really do. Church is good at two things, child raping and keeping Latin alive.

Well, there's bingo too but we see your point. So anyway, today we thought we'd go the whole fair and balanced route and see if we could find something nice to say about the Draped One and right away we see he's planning a trip to Spain, one of the most catholic countries in the world we might add. Got to be a love fest thinks us, plus he can almost walk there so no one will be getting up in his face about footing the bill like those drunken Irish did. So, who's heading up the welcome committee?

One hundred and twenty priests from Madrid's poorest parishes have added their voices to the growing protest at the cost of Pope Benedict's visit to Madrid next week.An umbrella group – the Priest's Forum – says that the estimated €60m (£53m) cost of the papal visit, not counting security, cannot be justified at a time of massive public sector cuts and 20% unemployment in Spain.

 Now that's nice. See, popey hasn't had a real good year and he's probably looking forward to getting someplace where he can relax a little and not have to answer uncomfortable questions. You know, a place that going to welcome...wait a minute, what?

Evaristo Villar, a 68-year-old member of the group, said he objected to the multinationals the Catholic church has had to ally itself to cover the costs of what he called the "showmanship" of the event.

 "Showmanship?" Dude, that's the boss you're talking about there. Last time we checked you guys didn't have a union or anything so you might want to look up "at will employee" in the priest's polices and procedures handbook. Just saying.

"The companies that are backing World Youth Day and the pope's visit leave much to be desired," the priest said. The more than 100 corporate sponsors of the event include Coca-Cola, Telefónica and Santander.

 Hey that's a little harsh don't you think padre? After all, those World Youth are bound to get thirsty trying to avoid grabby priests and if they chose to pause at a booth and quench that thirst with the vatican endorsed soft drink, and Bene's bank account gets a little comeback because of that, well where's the harm? You think all those lawyers trying to keep the church from losing its shirt in all those lawsuits are doing pro bono work? Is Allah a Presbyterian?

"With the economic crisis we are going through, we can't pay for this. The church should set the example," said a spokesman for the Indignados movement, which has staged high-profile protests in central Madrid. "They propose to spend €60m when the regional government has just cut €40m from the education budget."

 Right. And you're still €20m short so you'd better get on it. You guys got social security over there? We'd lend you Boehner but he's got a golf date with the Koch Brothers and Grover Norquist, or as we like to call them, the Foursome of the Apocalypse.

Interest in the Catholic church on the wane among young people in Spain. A recent survey by the national statistics office showed that the number of believers aged 18 to 24 has fallen by 56% in the past 10 years. The pope's visit to Barcelona last November was poorly received, with the popemobile forced to drive at top speed along mainly deserted streets in pursuit of small groups of the faithful.

Oh crap. Somebody get PR on the phone. The last thing we need is a picture of the pope chasing kids around the city.