That Stuff You Thought He Said? He Said It, But You Didn't Hear It Right

See, here's the problem with democracy. You go letting the people have a say in the future of their country and pretty soon they're going to say something you don't want to hear. What's poor president Bush to think now? Here he's been marching democracy all over the Middle East like Moses on methamphetamine for the last seven years, and what does his number one homey Maliki go and say to a bunch of loudmouthed Germans? He likes Obama better. Hey Maliki, ever hear the phrase 'dance with who brung ya?' Yeesh, you fly in and liberate some guy's country and then he goes acting all liberated and whatnot.

Luckily, vice president Cheney had his cell with him when the announcement came out.

The statement by an aide to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki calling his remarks in Der Spiegel "misinterpreted and mistranslated" followed a call to the prime minister's office from U.S. government officials. "Yeah, when we said we like Obama's plan better what we really meant was we are forever indebted to the liberator Bush," said an aide to Maliki.

Scott M. Stanzel, a White House spokesman with president Bush at his ranch in Stuckinur Craw, Texas, said that embassy officials used fungo bats and motorcycle chains to explain to the Iraqis who is really in charge in their country and how the interview in Der Spiegel should have been cleared through the vice president's office and what was Maliki doing in Germany anyway, since no request for travel had been processed by the American Embassy in Baghdad.

“The Iraqis did not have their minds right wanted to correct it,” he said."Particularly after we pointed out that anybody caught bad mouthing the president's policies spends a night in the box."

A statement, which was distributed to media organizations by the American military early on Sunday, said Mr. Maliki’s words had been “misunderstood and mistranslated,” but it failed to cite specifics. "Oh, that's no problem," said Stanzel. "Where ever you see 'Obama' take it out and put in 'Bush'. The two words sound a lot alike in Arabic."

Mr. Maliki’s top political adviser, Sadiq al-Rikabi, declined to comment on the remarks, but spoke in general about the Iraqi position. “Foreign soldiers in the middle of the most populated areas are not without their side effects,” he said. “Shouldn’t we look to an end for this unhealthy situation?”

"I got your 'side effects' right here," said Stanzel.

Asked for a reaction to Maliki's statement, representatives of the Obama campaign just laughed and laughed and laughed. Later, McCain campaign headquarters put out a statement saying that while he disagreed with Obama on middle east policy, he was changing his policy to reflect Obama's position.