Monday, June 23, 2008

If People Buy The Book, That Means It's True, Right?

We're coming to you from the fiction section here in the marbled halls of IM Central today. Those of you who made the mistake of staying sober during the 2004 election may remember a contribution to the national dialogue by one David Freddoso titled John Kerry: Scary, Scary Elitist Nancyboy in which we learned that Mr. Kerry hates Christmas, puppies and domestic beer. It was a book similar to Profiles in Courage except different.

Well, Mr. Freddoso, having barely missed out on the Pulitzer last time is about to bring his considerable talents to bear on Barack Obama with a new book titled Barack Hussein Obama: Scary, Scary Black Elitist Probably Muslim (Did We Mention He's Black?)

The book will offer “a comprehensive, factual look at Obama,” according to Regnery Publishing president and publisher Marjory Ross. "And by 'factual' we mean stuff we get from the voices in our heads."

Ross contends that the mainstream media has offered insufficient scrutiny of Obama's inability to wear a flag lapel pin and likens the goal of Freddoso’s book to that of the drug induced, fact free diatribe of Kerry’s war record that rocketed to No. 1 on The New York Times best-seller list. "To tell you the truth we never even thought anyone would buy the Kerry book," Ross said. "You just can't go broke underestimating the slop the American people will slurp up though, so we're going to try it again."

“I think it’s critically important that the country gets a clear and honest view of who is running and what they stand for — warts and all,” Ross said. "Well, especially the warts. OK, only the warts. Do black people get warts? We'll have to look into that."

Freddoso has taken a leave from his job with National Review Online — where he has written posts with titles such as “Obama’s Problem with the Truth, or Why the Candidate be Shucking and Jiving?”

Ross declined to share any failings in Freddoso’s reporting since the manuscript hasn’t been made up yet, but said the 31-year-old journalist has material from Obama’s days in Madrassas, street gangs and and with the Shining Path guerrillas."

In a totally objective and accurate effort to burn the brotha' down, the book will examine Obama’s relationship with his blackness, with members of the Windy City’s underground communist cell, and with well known terrorist sympathizer Mayor Richard M. Daley.

Moving to the national stage, the book will argue that Obama’s political views are far too rational. “He’s the No. 1 most liberal member of the U.S. Senate, and nobody has really smeared his record,” says Ross. "He's for things like Health Care, living wages, clean environment, and this one is especially troubling, talking to rather than bombing people who are brown. Now, if that's not a terrorist agenda, I don't know what is."

"The more people fall in love with a candidate, the more they might vote for him set this country on a path different from the last eight years," Ross said.

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