Georgia! Motto: We Ain't Even Pretending Anymore

You know, most times we're pretty happy to be Americans, even though we like to make fun of our fellow citizens, particularly those who think they're living in a computer game. Other times we wish we lived in Belize.

This is one of those times.

A Roswell, Georgia newspaper is defending a controversial cover illustration that placed Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama in a rifle's cross hairs. "Not saying it will. Just that it could," said the paper's publisher, John 'Possum grits' Fredericks. "Boy needs to remember his place, that's all."

Possum grits and senior editor Tim 'Catfish' Altork said there was little internal debate over the appropriateness of the imagery. Well, sometimes it's hard to understand what people are saying in those meetings," added Catfish. "What with their hoods on and all."

The article was pitched and reported by veteran freelance journalist Alan 'Barefoot Alan' Sverdlik, who said he was curious how law enforcement agencies were handling the increased number of threats lodged against Obama by white supremacist groups, most of whom are based around the offices of the Beacon.

The article's publication coincided with a typical republican quip by former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee after a loud noise interrupted his speech to the National Rifle Association. "Well, that's what gave us the idea," said Possum grits. "I mean, Huck's a pastor and all ain't he? If he says it it's like it's coming from the lord."

At the same time, just a few miles away west of Roswell, a Cobb County saloonkeeper was exalting in his own Obama-related controversy, peddling T-shirts featuring a cartoon monkey endorsing the likely Democratic nominee thus earning Georgia the coveted Blatant Racist Trifecta Award for May.

Possum grits said editorial decisions would not be influenced by "liberal blogger thuggery. Good, bad or ugly, we tell the truth," he said. "And truth is ain't no black boy ever gonna be my president."