Rice On The Lam From Subpoena; Last Seen In The Racks At Bergdorfs

OK, so where are the world's hot spots? Iraq, Afghanistan, the Sudan, Nigeria, Palestine, you know, places like that. Places where diplomacy is badly needed. So where's our Secretary of State? Oslo, Norway about as far from where you'd expect her to be as she can get. Why? This is why.

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice said she has already dodged the questions she has been subpoenaed to answer before a congressional committee and suggested she is not inclined to comply with the order. "I would imagine she's 'not inclined' to go to jail either," said Representative Waxman, Chair of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. "But ask her how she looks in prison orange."

Rice said she would respond by mail to questions from the Committee. "Hey, look. I'm willing to write stuff down. Was Gonzales? That's all I'm saying. Cut me a little slack here," Rice told reporters outside Frogner and Bygdýy where she had gone to buy knick knacks.

Rice said she respected the oversight function of the legislative branch, but maintained she had already testified in person and under oath. "They already know this is one of the most corrupt, incompetent, bunch of bald faced liars to hit Washington since Garfield. What more can I tell them?"