A Foolish Consistency Is The Hobgoblin Of Little Minds...Right Mr. President?

You know, we've been thinking a lot about president Bush lately. To be honest we've also been thinking about Jolene Blalok, how much longer Paula Abdul can make a career out of not having a career, and the local liquor store's free delivery special. But back to the president.

President Bush's stance on a Democratic agreement to set a timetable on the Iraq war has not changed: he will not accept it. "Look, this guy hasn't changed his mind since he switched from Cuervo to Patrón that summer he was hiding from the Air National Guard in Alabama," said Deputy White House Press Secretart Dana Perino.

"If they insist on sending the bill to him in its current form, that has an arbitrary surrender date and handcuffs the generals, the president will veto it," Deputy Press Secretart Perino said. "The president will not surrender," she added. "Of course neither will he learn, grow, change, adapt, admit to mistakes, or take responsibility for anything, including that SBD he cut at the movie last night. Besides, is there anyone who could handcuff the generals better than he has? I don't think so."

As part of the president's push, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice was expected to meet Tuesday with key senators, including members of the Senate Finance Committee to discuss the funding bill. Shortly after that announcement was made the Secretary's office issued a statement saying that her appearance had been canceled due to a sale at Bergdorffs.

A leading Republican, meanwhile, warned that Democratic leaders are making an all-too-familiar mistake with the impending showdown: not listening to seasoned commanders. Representative C.W. Bill Young, R - No Sense Of Irony, said catastrophe always follows when civilians turn a deaf ear to their military officers. Aides to the congressman tried unsuccessfully to explain why the room burst out into laughter at his remarks.

General David Petraeus, the new Iraq commander, will try to persuade lawmakers in a private briefing this week to pursue a difference course. He is expected to tell Congress to "Get us the H. E. double hockey sticks out of there."

"I will strongly reject an artificial timetable (for) withdrawal and/or Washington politicians trying to tell those who wear the uniform how to do their job," Bush told reporters in the Oval Office. Later Representative Young tried unsuccessfully to explain to Bush why the room burst into laughter at his remarks.