Wednesday, July 19, 2006

We've Been Out Of Town. You Mean He's Still President?

Oh, we're back baby. The wit and wisdom of the inhabitants of the marbled halls have been on the road these last couple of days. Yeah. It was a small car. Anyway did you miss us? Did you even notice we were gone? If you you did you probably need more to do.

Anyway we're back at IM Central now and ready to dispense the erudite, cogent and timely observations you've come to expect from us. really do need more to do.

So what's president Stumpy been up to these last couple of days? Let's see. He used a swear word and several media outlets wet themselves. Apparently it's OK to drag the world to the brink of armageddon, just don't get all fowl mouthed about it.

Back home after molesting the German Chancellor, Bush is ready to veto the stem cell research bill because all life is precious and needs to be protected. Well, except for Iraqi life. And Lebanese life. And the folks in Darfur. Oh, and kids. Let's not forget about kids. "Look, our job is to get you born." White House Press Secretary Tony Snowjob told reporters. "After that, you're on your own. Is it our fault you weren't born into a rich family?"

Yeah. We see where you're coming from. Oh, look here, Bush plans to speak to the NAACP for the first time since he was a candidate. This ought to be interesting. Tony Snowjob said Bush decided to speak to the group Thursday because of "a moment of opportunity" for the president to lie about his civil rights record. "He figures he can say what he wants and no one will notice because black people are all on the crack, you know? It's a perfect audience for us."

Bush's decision comes in a critical midterm election year, when Republicans fear losing control of Congress and Bush has been working to get more votes for the GOP. Bush received just 11 percent of the black vote in the 2004 election. "The president plans to use our support of the voting rights act as a platform to attract black voters," Snowjob said. "Oh, wait. We didn't support that. Let me get back to you."

You do that. We'll be on the road.

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