We're The Good Guys. When We Break The Law It's The "Adaptive Justice" Protocol

OK look, the rap against president Bush has been that he's incompetent, inefficient and disconnected from reality, but when you take a close look at his policies you can see the stunning brilliance and breathtaking originality of his mind.

The Office of Professional Responsibility announced earlier this year it could not pursue an investigation into the role of Justice lawyers in crafting the program because it could not obtain security clearance to examine the classified program. "Right." Gonzales said. "What part of 'secret program of eavesdropping' don't you understand?"

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said that President Bush personally blocked Justice Department lawyers from pursuing an internal probe of the warrantless eavesdropping program that monitors Americans’ international calls and e-mails when terrorism is suspected. "The president was concerned that taking time away from our eavesdropping to comply with laws would unnecessarily complicate our ability to find out who's in league with the democrats...er... the terrorists." Gonzales said.

Under sharp questioning from Senate Judiciary Committee chairman Arlen Specter (R-Siryessir), Gonzales said that Bush would not grant the access needed to allow the probe to move forward. "This invasion of American's personal liberties and freedoms is essential to the protection of our personal liberties and freedoms," he said. "If we allow it to be investigated for compliance with our laws, we will be deprived of one of our most valuable weapons...the ability to do whatever we want to...just because a small minority of Americans think laws are more important than the president's judgment."

Bush’s 2001 directive authorized the National Security Agency to monitor — without court warrants — the communications of people on U.S. soil when noncompliance with administration policies is suspected. The administration initially resisted efforts to write a new law, contending that no legal changes were needed because laws were meant for people outside of the Bush White House. But after pretty much everyone in the country except Rush Limbaugh figured out that Bush thought the Constitution was a tourist attraction in Massachusettsetts, administration officials have grown more open to legislation.

"It's not that we're against obeying existing laws," Gonzales told a Senate panel. "It's just that in order to obey the law you have to know what it says and...well...the president reads really slowly. Plus he needs to have his dictionary right there with him. The vice president said it was OK. If you have a problem with the program, take it up with him."

Under a deal with Senator Specter Bush agreed conditionally to a court review of his antiterror eavesdropping operations. "The condition is that they have to agree our program is legal before we'll let them see it," said Tony Snowjob, White House Press Secretary.