Save America! Block The Nomination Of...Somebody

We've gotten kind of interested in the fight over the next Supreme Court Justice, mainly because there is no one to fight over. This way you can attack the other side directly without having to worry about whether the person you are fighting over has any, you know, positive attributes that might be cause for a, oh, we don't know, compromise? We think the president should just refuse to nominate someone because once he does, the people fighting will have to come up with reasons they are for or against that person. Takes all the fun out of whacking the other side.

Leave it to Bush though to screw up a perfectly good opportunity to let our democracy work. And by that we mean a steel cage smack down between James Dobson and Al Franken. Winner gets to refer to the loser as "Hitleresque" for six months without penalty in the press.

Yeah. Like most reporters could even spell "Hitleresque." Anyway, none of this is going to happen because it looks like the president has been thinking about his nominee.

Bush said on Wednesday he would not choose his Supreme Court candidate based on their position on specific issues such as abortion or gay marriage. "There will be no litmus test," he said, "Mainly because I don't know what the heck a 'litmus' is. Plus I never liked tests."

The White House said Fred Thompson, a former Republican senator from Tennessee and now a TV actor would shepherd the president's nominee through the Senate confirmation process. "Fred's real good at appearing sincere," said Press Secretary Scott McClellan. "We figure whoever the president nominates will need some help appearing to be sincere about law and justice and stuff. And besides, it worked with the Gonzalez nomination."

Bush called on activists of the left and right to lower the tone over whom he should pick. "Look, I never listened to you idiots on the left, and now that you've reelected me I don't need you wingnuts on the right either, so I'm going to do this myself. At least that's what Cheney told me."

At a joint news conference with Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen, Bush also defended his attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, against criticism from conservatives that he is too moderate to fill the Supreme Court vacancy. "Hey. This is the guy who came up with the torture memos," Bush said. "He's about as moderate as Genghis Kahn."

"This is an opportunity for good public servants to exhibit a civil discourse on a very important matter, but I'm sure if we handle the situation correctly we can turn this into a giant hatefest," Bush said.