Tuesday, July 12, 2005

All Rove All Day...Well, Until A White Woman Goes Missing

Wow. Karl Rove isn't the upstanding honest public servant we all thought he was. There probably isn't a Santa Claus either. OK, we are being sarcastic rather than ironic as the title of this blog suggests, but sometimes the pressure gets to us, you know. It's not like we asked for this gig. You could have elected Gore, or even Kerry, but no...you had to have Bush. Twice. See what you've done to us.

The White House is suddenly facing damaging evidence that it misled the public by insisting that presidential adviser Karl Rove wasn't involved in leaking the identity of a female CIA officer. "So what's your point, "said Press Secretary Scott McClellan at a recent White House briefing. "We've been misleading the public since 2000. You guys been in a coma or something?"

"Did Karl Rove commit a crime?" a reporter asked McClellan.

"What are you some big investigative reporter now," McClellan replied. "You think you're Bernstein and Woodward now? Oh look over there, I think a white woman has just gone missing."

McClellan gave the same answer when asked whether President Bush has confidence in Rove. "Hey guess what. Kerry didn't really earn his purple hearts. He got beat up in a bar by a bunch of gay guys. Better go report on that."

Rove's own denials have been narrowly worded: "I didn't know her name and didn't leak her name," Rove said last year. "I may have said Allervie Almpay, but I don't know if the reporter spoke pig latin."

Democratic consultant Paul Begala said the White House has a problem because "people are going to look at this crowd and say, Gee, we can't trust a thing they say after the WMD controversy.' " When informed of Begala's comment the president said, "Well, duh. He's a genius isn't he? Hey, did you hear there's a white woman missing in Vermont?"

Robert Luskin, Rove's lawyer, said his client did not disclose Plame's name. Luskin declined to say how Rove found out that Wilson's wife worked for the CIA. "And if you guys were really responsible reporters, you'd be looking in to what Michael Jackson's been up too since his acquittal, and not pestering my client."

"The White House promised if anyone was involved in the Valerie Plame affair, they would no longer be in this administration," said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, "So just who is 25th in line for the presidency anyway?"

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