Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on Wednesday demanded that federal officials abandon their challenge of his state's voucher system, accusing the Justice Department of being more interested in doing favors for teacher unions than helping students."This is a vast public school conspiracy to prepare kids for life in the 21st century," Jindal told reporters. "And what's worse, they're doing it with your tax dollars."
Louisiana's school voucher program has become a political flashpoint, with congressional Republicans this week joining critics of the Justice Department's lawsuit, which seeks to block Louisiana from issuing new tuition vouchers in some districts still under desegregation orders."Why should deserving educational entrepreneurs have to wait for black kids to catch up before they can get their piece of the state's educational budget?" asked Jindal. "Besides, you know those colored folks can't get anywhere on time. And that's not racist, it's a cultural fact."
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, a Republican who has championed education reform efforts, joined Jindal in demanding the Justice Department back down. "This is purely political," said Bush, "I have no idea why they made this decision. It's like they have this fantasy that we're supposed to educate all the kids instead of provide a good return for people who invest in school management companies. Where do you get ideas like that?"
"They are using those laws to trap these children in failing schools," Jindal said. "But more importantly, they are withholding income from people who might donate to my campaign."
"There's not a chance that the president or the attorney general would send their kids to these schools," Jindal said."And yes I know it's about 1000 miles from here to Washington, but that's not my point. Actually, I don't remember my point right now, but this is wrong. Oh wait. Teacher unions! Something. Let me get back to you."
Well, all righty then governor. If you need up we'll be over here watching Michele Bachmann explain to the Egyptians that she's a member of the United States Congress from the United States. See, you have to be extra clear when you use English to explain things to people who don't speak English