Thursday, September 12, 2013

Let Freedom Ring (As Long As It Plays A Tune I Like)

We're coming to you today from the Sore Loser Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The SLD is a division of the WATB Corporation (Look it up. We're busy blogging here) a wholly owned subsidy of  Give Me My Ball I'm Going Home, Inc.

But first a word from our sponsor: Democracy. See, in a democracy people get to vote on stuff and if more people vote to do stuff, than not, we do that stuff--at least until the next time people get to vote when we may decide we really didn't want to do that stuff at all and start all over again. That's why progress in a democracy resembles a game of Frogger played by a blind person, but that' not the point. The point is because there are always people who want to do stuff and people who don't, at any given point in a democracy there will be a group of people who are ticked off because stuff isn't going their way.

And now, back to our blog.
West Virginia was the last state to break off from another. Now, 150 years later, a 49-year-old information technology consultant wants to apply the knife to Maryland’s five western counties. “The people are the sovereign,” says Scott Strzelczyk, leader of the fledgling Western Maryland Initiative, and the western sovereigns are fed up with Annapolis’s liberal majority, elected by the state’s other sovereigns.
HaHaHaHa! Mr. Strzelczyk do you see your conundrum here, so snarkily pointed out by the author? If the citizens are "sovereign" and more of them voted for things you don't like than voted for things you do like, by your own definition your stuck with it. Unless of course, some citizens are more "sovereign" than others in which case we have to wonder, which pig are you?

Perhaps it would be easier if you just moved to Colorado.
Residents in a conservative northern Colorado county will vote this November on whether to secede and create a new state, after a local commission on Monday approved ballot language backed by tea party activists.
Oh, you just know the Tea Party had to be in there somewhere, huh? But here's a more important question: Who checked the ballot language for spelling and grammar? Well, leave that unanswered for now. Let's hear how the rights of  these sovereigns have been trampled upon by a majority of citizens in their state.
“The concerns of rural Coloradans have been ignored for years,” commission chairman William Garcia said in a statement. “The last session was the straw that broke the camel’s back for many people. They want change. They want to be heard. Policies being passed by the legislature in Denver are having negative impacts on the lives of rural Coloradans. This isn’t an ‘R’ versus ‘D’ issue; it’s much bigger than that.”
Oh boo hoo. You think you have it bad Mr. Garcia? We just recently emerged from eight years of living in a country in which the highest elected office in the land was held by George W. Bush. A guy who dropped the ball on a major terrorist attack, got us in to two meaningless wars, watched a major American city be destroyed  from 20,000 feet, and did nothing as the economy tanked, all while taking more vacation days than any president since John Adams and did you see us trying to set up our own country in the backyard? No way, although it is true we cried ourselves to sleep each night reading real estate brochures from Belize.

So here you are stuck with magazines that can't be larger than 15 rounds and you're ready to fly off and create the great state of Wangdangistan. Suck it up buddy. Or maybe you should just move to Missouri.
Missouri’s legislature recently passed a law purporting to forbid the application of federal gun laws in the state and making it a crime for federal agents to enforce them there.
Because nothing says democracy like only obeying the laws you like. Wish that worked for speed limits because our bank account would be a lot healthier if it did.

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