At First We Thought It Was Just A Cookbook

We're generally not big fans of consistency around here, unless you count inconsistency as a kind of bizzaro consistency. We would plead guilty to a consistent inconsistency if that were in fact the charge. And rather proud of it we might add because one does not simply stumble into randomness, but rather must cultivate it with a studied lack of diligence.

Well, the point we're trying to make in our ultimately adorable roundabout fashion is that we don't usually follow topics on this blog, but prefer to be buffeted about by the chaotic winds of the interwebs, crashing from subject to subject like some lunatic Mario Kart, but almost as soon as we finished yesterday's post about cardinal Timmy's most excellent idea, this splattered itself on our digital windshield.

The Vatican has sharply criticized a book written by a US nun and theologian on sexual ethics. The Holy See's orthodoxy office said the 2005 book, Just Love, by Sister Margaret Farley posed "grave harm" to the faithful.

OK, so you're thinking seven years to figure out a book is gravely harming the flock, that explains why they never picked up on Sex in the City, but in defense of the of the weird hat posse we say you need to look at it from their perspective: First, there weren't any pictures, and second, who reads books written by women?

The Congregation for Keeping the Rubes In Line, the Vatican's doctrinal department, said her writings revealed a "defective understanding of the objective nature of natural moral law which clearly states that dudes is primo" and were "in direct contradiction with Catholic teaching in the field of sexual morality, or as it is more commonly known, the don't do as we do, do as we say doctrine."

In a statement, Sister Farley said she had aimed to propose a framework for sexual ethics that "uses a criteria of justice" in evaluating sexual relations. "The fact that Christians (and others) have achieved new knowledge and deeper understanding of human embodiment and sexuality seems to require that we at least examine the possibility of development in sexual ethics," she said.

"Look, the last thing we need around here is more sexual developments," said a spokesman for the vatican Office of Saltpeter. "The sexual developments we have on our hands now have darn near bankrupted the place."

A member of the Sisters of Mercy and professor emeritus of Christian ethics at Yale University, Margaret Farley won an award for her volume in 2008. "Cripes! Don't encourage them you guys," said the vatican spokesman.