Cardinal Timothy Dolan of the archdiocese of New York is keeping quiet today after his old diocese, the archdiocese of Milwaukee, confirmed that under his leadership the church paid individual sums of $20,000 to priests accused of molesting children. The archdiocese of Milwaukee confirmed that the church paid the priests money to voluntarily sign papers to leave the priesthood because it was cheaper and faster than removing them by other administrative routes, which would have included going through the Vatican.Now, conventional wisdom says that when someone commits a crime, that person goes to jail, but then along comes cardinal Timmy who says, wait a minute, there's got to be a better way. Now, think about it for a minute. What happens when we put a criminal in jail? Why it costs us money right? A lot of money. Add to that the fact that we lock up more people than anyone else in the world, and you're talking a buttload of shekels diverted from more meaningful and effective uses, like the pope's legal defense fund.
So cardinal Timmy puts his mind to the problem and comes up with an innovative, and we might add, cost effective solution: Pay The Perp. Got caught doinking the choirboys? We'll pay you 20 large to get outta Dodge. No expensive police involvement, no costly trial, no incarceration on the taxpayer's dime. It's your basic win win.
Think about the implications here. If you can get rid of a perv for $20 thousand, and most people in the slammer are in for getting high, then for $500 and a couple bags of Doritos you could probably get all the pot heads to move to Canada.
Cardinal Timmy for Attorney General!